“Pineapple Express” quotes

(2008)
Movie Pineapple Express
Title Pineapple Express
Year 2008
Director David Gordon Green
Genre Comedy, Crime, Action
Plot – Dale Denton is so lazy that he has only one reason to go visit his friend Saul Silver, who is just as lazy, and that is about to stock up on a new variety of marijuana known as Pineapple Express, which Saul deals in. However, when Dale witnesses a murder committed by a crooked cop and a dangerous drug lord, he panics and flees leaving behind the grass he has just purchased. Nonetheless, Dale decides to return to Saul to understand if the grass could lead back to them. Unfortunately, Saul realizes that it is indeed possible and the two begin a tragicomic escape from the criminals that want to kill them.
All actors – Seth Rogen, James Franco, Danny McBride, Kevin Corrigan, Craig Robinson, Gary Cole, Rosie Perez, Ed Begley Jr., Nora Dunn, Amber Heard, Joe Lo Truglio, Arthur Napiontek, Cleo King, Bill Hader, James Remar, Jonathan Spencer, Dana Lee, Bobby Lee, Ken Jeong, David C. Cook, Howard S. Lefstein, Connie Sawyer, David McDivitt, Mae LaBorde, Kendall Carly Browne, George Lew, John Robert Tramutola, Adam Crosby, Andrew Heald, Jeannetta Arnette, Carlos Aleman, Omar Leyva, Sam Carson, Jack Kehler, Robert Longstreet, Peter Lewis, Steve Bannos, Eddie Rouse, Mark Whigham, Brian Scannell, Ricky Dominguez, Gabe Fiscale, Brandon G. Holley, Jourdan Lee, Nathan Mussell, Jordan Pontell, Shawn Roe, Jill Sayre, Sheila Shaw, George F. Watson
show all
  • “- Saul Silver: What's up with the suit?
    - Dale Denton: Oh, I'm a process server, so I have to wear a suit.
    - Saul Silver: Wow, you're a servant? Like a butler? A chauffeur?
    - Dale Denton: No, no. What? No, I'm not like...
    - Saul Silver: Shine shoes?
    - Dale Denton: I'm a process server!”

    James Franco - Saul Silver
    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
    [Tag:clothes, job]
  • “- Red: I'm like the nerd at the sleepover who fell asleep at nine.
    - Dale Denton: It's okay. We won't put our dicks in your mouth.”

    Danny McBride - Red
    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
  • “- Red: That's what I am. I'm just a hermit crab changin' shells.
    - Dale Denton: Except if you're a dick your whole life, your next shell will be made of shit, okay? If you're an asshole, you're gonna come back as a cockroach or a worm or a fuckin' anal bead, okay? If you're a man and you act heroic, you'll come back as an eagle. You'll come back...” (continue)
    (continue reading)

    Danny McBride - Red
    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
  • “- Saul Silver: How about in the park, when I said you were my friend... you didn't say anything back.
    - Dale Denton: Well, that's easy. It's because we're not friends. You are my drug dealer. The only reason I know you is because I like the drugs you sell. If you didn't sell drugs, I would have no idea who you are, and I wouldn't be here right now.”

    James Franco - Saul Silver
    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
    [Tag:drugs, friends]
  • “- Red: I don't know what's up with you, but I don't know if I like you.
    - Dale Denton: Well, I don't know if I like you either, man.
    - Red: Well, that's your loss 'cause I'm a great friend.”

    Danny McBride - Red
    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
    [Tag:friends]
  • “- Saul Silver: Don't worry, bro. Your cat's going to heaven.
    - Red: Yeah, maybe. Maybe he went to heaven. He was a little fucker. He could've gone to hell.”

    James Franco - Saul Silver
    Danny McBride - Red
    [Tag:cats, heaven, hell]
  • “- Robert: You assholes do exactly as I say, or I will take you outside and fuck you in the street!
    - Dale Denton: No! Don't fuck us anywhere!”

    Ed Begley Jr. - Robert
    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
    [Tag:sex, threat]
  • - Saul Silver: This is like if that "Blue Oyster" shit met that "Afghan Kush" I had and they had a baby. And then, meanwhile, that crazy "Northern Light" stuff I had and the "Super Red Espresso Snowflake" met and had a baby. And by some miracle, those two babies met and fucked... this would the shit that they birthed.
    - Dale Denton: [smells the... (continue)
    (continue reading)
    James Franco - Saul Silver
    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
    [Tag:drugs, metaphors, sex]
  • “- Saul Silver: Look, only reason I started selling pot is so I could put my bubbeh in a nice retirement home.
    - Dale Denton: [sarcastically] Oh, yeah, she must be proud of you for that.
    - Saul Silver: She is really proud of me, and I'm gonna become something, man! As soon as she dies, I'm gonna become a civil engineer. I'm gonna design septic...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    James Franco - Saul Silver
    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
    [Tag:dreams, drugs, job]
  • “- Dale Denton: Even if he found that roach, how could he find us?
    - Saul Silver: Um... heat-seeking missiles... bloodhounds... and foxes... barracudas...
    - Dale Denton: I'm just... I'm kind of flabbergasted when you say things like that. It's weird.
    - Saul Silver: Thank you.
    - Dale Denton: Not a compliment.”

    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
    James Franco - Saul Silver
  • “- Police Liaison Officer: What's in your hand?
    - Dale Denton: It's weed, it's a joint, it's a roach. I thought it was decriminalized. To be honest with you, I have horrible anorexia and it helps my appetite. I'm so sorry.
    - Police Liaison Officer: Look, selling narcotics to my students is not decriminalized. I'm the liaison officer for this...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Cleo King - Police Liaison Officer
    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
    [Tag:crime, drugs, school]
  • “- Red: Um, actually, my lip, that's a cold sore. And I've never had a cold sore before, so I cried.
    - Saul Silver: Dude, a cold sore? Does that mean like... herpes?
    - Red: Yes, that's what it means. I have herpes.
    - Saul Silver: Herpes... whoa, do you know how many, like, joints we've shared?
    - Red: Yes, I know, I'm a disgusting person.”

    Danny McBride - Red
    James Franco - Saul Silver
    [Tag:disease, disgust, lips]
  • “- Dale Denton: The battery is dead. It ceased to live. It's deceased now. The car needs a battery to start, Saul.
    - Saul Silver: How did this happen?
    - Dale Denton: Well we clearly fell asleep with the battery on and...
    - Saul Silver: Aw, man... talk radio?
    - Dale Denton: Yes, talk radio.
    - Saul Silver: So boring, man! The car just committed...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
    James Franco - Saul Silver
    [Tag:boredom, cars]
  • “- Saul Silver: Just sit back and get ready to enjoy some of the rarest weed known to mankind.
    [he lights a joint and inhales]
    - Dale Denton: It's really that rare?
    - Saul Silver: [exhales] It's, like, the rarest. [he examines the joint] It's almost a shame to smoke it. It's like killing a unicorn... with, like, a bomb.”

    James Franco - Saul Silver
    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
    [Tag:drugs]
  • “- Red: You see this? You see that? There's no hair under here, bro.
    - Dale Denton: What's the significance of that?
    - Red: It makes me aerodynamic when I fight. I can take danger.”

    Danny McBride - Red
    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
    [Tag:fighting]
  • “- Dale Denton: Why don't you go fuck yourself, you weird little prick?
    - Mr. Edwards: I'm a teacher, okay? You can't talk to me like that, guy.
    - Dale Denton: I'm not a student, so I can say whatever the fuck I want, you chimp-fucking little bastard.”

    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
    Joe Lo Truglio - Mr. Edwards
    [Tag:insult, teachers]
  • “Couscous: the food's so nice they named it twice.”
    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
    [Tag:food, name]
  • “- Red: I'm trying to decide how stoned I am and just how on the verge of death am I right now. Like, am I seeing shit because I'm stoned or because I have no blood left in my body.
    - Dale Denton: Well, you've been shot like seven times.”

    Danny McBride - Red
    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
    [Tag:blood, drugs, wound]
  • “- Angie Anderson: I lost my virginity when I was fourteen, okay? How many women have you even slept with?
    - Dale Denton: Like two and a half.
    - Angie Anderson: Two and a half? What is a half, your hand? That doesn't count!”

    Amber Heard - Angie Anderson
    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
  • “- Robert: Are you high?
    - Dale Denton: What? No!
    - Shannon: You are high as a fucking kite!”

    Ed Begley Jr. - Robert
    Seth Rogen - Dale Denton
    Nora Dunn - Shannon
    [Tag:drugs]
Highlights