“- Maria Tura: You certainly don't want me to waste a lot of time giving you a long explanation.
- Joseph Tura: No, but I think a husband is entitled to an inkling.”

Carole Lombard - Maria Tura
Jack Benny - Joseph Tura

“- Carl: I lost a contact lens back there.
- Doberman: Oh, really. Come here, let me see... You don't wear contacts.
- Carl: I lost both of 'em!”

Michael Eric Kramer - Carl
Harry Northup - Doberman

“You can give birth to an excuse so easily you will believe it's always been there.”
Sonja Sohn - Lauren Bell

Basic principles: no woman wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!”. Now, she might say, "This is a really bad time for me”, or something like "I just need some space” or, my personal favorite, "I'm really into my career right now”. You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? Because she's lying to you, that's why.
Will Smith - Hitch

“Bad alibi like dead fish - cannot stand test of time.”
Sidney Toler - Charlie Chan