Groucho Marx quotes
“- Otis B. Driftwood: Could he sail tomorrow?
- Fiorello: You pay him enough money, he could sail yesterday.”
“After all, I'm a man and you're a woman... and I can't think of a better arrangement.”
“- Ronald Kornblow: You know, I think you're the most beautiful woman in the whole world.
- Beatrice Rheiner: Do you really?
- Ronald Kornblow: No, but I don't mind lying if it'll get me somewheres.”
“From now on the essence of this hotel will be speed. If a customer askes you for a three-minute egg, give it to him in two minutes. If he askes you for a two-minute egg, give it to him in one minute. If he askes you for a one-minute egg, give him the chicken and let him work it out for himself!”
- "Flo": I want to be near you. I want you to hold me. Oh! Hold me closer! Closer! Closer!
- Dr. Hackenbush: If I hold you any closer, I'll be in back of you!
“- Mrs. Suzanna Dukesbury: We must have regard for certain conventions.
- J. Cheever Loophole: One guy isn't enough. She's gotta have a convention.”
“- Harry Binelli: Hurry up, before they come back. And, groan, groan, stagger about and don't die too soon! You must take your time. And you mustn't die before 11 o'clock.
- Leo Davis: Don't you worry! I'll give you the best performance you ever saw in a hotel bedroom!
- Gordon Miller: That's the spirit! Good luck, Davis. Drop dead!”
“I'm not in business for love, you know. I was in love once and I got the business.”
“You're willing to pay him a thousand dollars a night just for singing? Why, you can get a phonograph record of Minnie the Moocher for 75 cents. And for a buck and a quarter, you can get Minnie.”
“- Rufus T. Firefly: Do you realize our army is facing disastrous defeat? What do you intend to do about it?
- Chicolini: I've done it already.
- Rufus T. Firefly: You've done what?
- Chicolini: I've changed to the other side.”
“- Fiorello: I haven't heard anything yet. Did you say anything?
- Otis B. Driftwood: Well, I haven't said anything worth hearing.”
“- Rufus T. Firefly: You do suggest something. To me you suggest a baboon.
- Ambassador Trentino: What?!
- Rufus T. Firefly: I'm sorry I said that. It isn't fair to the rest of the baboons.”
“You must fan the flames of love with the bellows of indifference.”
“- Mrs. Potter: I don't think you'd love me if I were poor.
- Hammer: I might, but I'd keep my mouth shut.”
“- Mrs. Gloria Teasdale: I was with him to the very end.
- Rufus T. Firefly: No wonder he passed away.”
“I don't care what your past has been. To me, you'll always be my good woman. Because I love you.”
“- Captain Jeffrey Spaulding: I used to know a fellow who looked exactly like you by the name of Emanuel Ravelli. Are you his brother?
- Signor Emanuel Ravelli: I am Emanuel Ravelli.
- Captain Jeffrey Spaulding: Well, no wonder you look like him. But I still insist there is a resemblance.”
“You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, which doesn't say much for you.”