“- Captain Clarence Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
- Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
- Captain Clarence Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?”
Peter Graves - Captain Clarence Oveur
Rossie Harris - Joey

“I know but this guy has no flying experience at all. He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air... yes, birds too.”
Kenneth Tobey - Air Controller Neubauer

“Judging from my little experience, I kind of believe in fate. It just works in really fucked up ways sometimes.”
Lauren Ambrose - Denise Fleming

“- Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace, I know from experience dude. If you know what I mean.
- Billy Madison: No, you don't.
- Bus Driver: Well, not me personally but a guy I know. Him and her got it on. Wooo-eee!
- Billy Madison: No, they didn't.”
Chris Farley - Bus Driver
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison

“- Clothing Store Woman: Have you ever had experience?
- Sean: With what?
- Clothing Store Woman: Women's clothes?
- Sean: What the fuck would I be doing with women's clothes? What do I look like a transvestite? I'm not no fucking transvestite, all right?”

Joyce Cohen - Clothing Store Woman
Devon Sawa - Sean