“- Paikea: Maori women have got to stop smoking. We've got to protect our childbearing properties.
- Maka: You'd have to be smoking in a pretty funny place to wreck your childbearing properties.”
Keisha Castle-Hughes - Paikea
Mabel Wharekawa - Maka

“There is nothing sexier than smoke billowing proudly out of a woman's hot, red, engorged nostrils.”
Gene Hackman - William B. Tensy

“- Jonathan Mardukas: Come on, cigarettes are killers.
- Jack Walsh: So are women.”
Charles Grodin - Jonathan Mardukas
Robert De Niro - Jack Walsh

“- Abbott: Put that out. There's no smoking in here.
- Costello: What makes you think I'm smoking?
- Abbott: You've got a cigar in your mouth!
- Costello: I've got shoes on... it doesn't mean I'm walking.”
Bud Abbott - Abbott
Lou Costello - Costello

“Pinocchio! So, this is where I find you! How do you ever expect to be a real boy? Look at yourself! Smoking! Playing pool! You're coming right home with me this minute!”

Cliff Edwards - Jiminy Cricket