“- Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Asteroids?
- Cousin Dale: Naw, but my dad does. Can't even sit on the toilet some days.”
Anthony Michael Hall - Rusty Griswold
John P. Navin Jr. - Cousin Dale

“- Jamie, Red Feather: Where are you from, Mars?
- Cleo Plendor: Worse. Beverly Hills.”
Tori Spelling - Jamie, Red Feather
Dinah Lacey - Cleo Plendor

“- Maj. Don West: What about you, Doc? Is there some lucky little nerd you left behind?
- Dr. Judy Robinson: I've spent the last three years training for this mission. I'm trying to save the planet. I haven't had time for fun.
- Maj. Don West: If there's no time for fun, Doc, then what are we saving the planet for?”
Matt LeBlanc - Maj. Don West
Heather Graham - Dr. Judy Robinson

“- Crow T. Robot: Man, the universe is really cruisin'.
- Tom Servo: Hey, look, there's Taurus the bull.
- Mike Nelson: And right underneath him the constellation feces.
- Crow T. Robot: Hey, look, Orion's broke.”
Trace Beaulieu - Crow T. Robot
Kevin Murphy - Tom Servo
Michael J. Nelson - Mike Nelson

“- Exeter: They're concentrating all their attention on Metaluna. Those flashes of light - they're meteors. Hundreds of them! The intense heat is turning Metaluna into a radioactive sun. The temperature must be thousands of degrees by now.
- Crow T. Robot: Cooler by the lake.
- Exeter: A lifeless planet. And yet...
- Tom Servo: Rents are reasonable!”
Trace Beaulieu - Crow T. Robot
Kevin Murphy - Tom Servo