“- Calculus Entropy: Should I be doing anything?
- Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher: No, not really, um... as soon as you get that trunk upstairs and have finished your nap I guess you could fix that step and jump down, turn around and pick a bale of cotton. And while I'm gone see to it Miss Scarlet stays away from the union army will you?”
Cleavon Little - Calculus Entropy
Chevy Chase - Irwin 'Fletch' Fletcher

“- Deputy Lester: What do you want me to do, Will?
- Teasle: I want you to do what I told you to do, Goddammit!”

Alf Humphreys - Lester
Brian Dennehy - Teasle

“- 1st Officer Petersen: The lifeboats will hold almost a third of the passengers.
- Sir Bruce Ismay: I order you to secure a lifeboat for me immediately.”

Hans Nielsen - 1st Officer Petersen
Ernst Fritz Fürbringer - Sir Bruce Ismay

“- Marie: I'm afraid of that gorilla!
- Ray Gorman: He won't hurt you - not after she's told him not to.
- Marie: And suppose she tells him different... what then?
- Ray Gorman: He'd tear you to pieces.”

Fifi D'Orsay - Marie
Buster Crabbe - Ray Gorman

“- Ray Gorman: I don't like the way he looks at me.
- Doreen Stockwell: Oh, Samson won't hurt you... unless I tell him to.”

Buster Crabbe - Ray Gorman
Julie London - Doreen Stockwell