“- Marcus Burnett: Look man, I ain't getting my sex at home, ok? Don't deny me this.
- Mike Lowrey: What are you talking about, man? You sleep with a beautiful woman everyday.
- Marcus Burnett: I'm married. That's what married means. It means you sleep together, but you can't get none.”
Martin Lawrence - Marcus Burnett
Will Smith - Mike Lowrey

“Every time anyone we knew got married, it ruined their relationship. They practically never had sex again. It's true, it's one of the secrets that no one ever tells you.”
Meg Ryan - Sally Albright

“- Jane's Aunt: Must be so hard to watch your younger sister get married before you.
- Jane: Yes. Then I remember that I still get to have hot hate sex with random strangers and I feel so much better!”
Jennifer Bassey - Jane's Aunt
Katherine Heigl - Jane

“- Liz Blake: Do you want to fuck me?
- Doctor Robert Elliott: Oh, yes.
- Liz Blake: Then why don't you?
- Doctor Robert Elliott: Because I'm a doctor and...
- Liz Blake: Fucked a lot of doctors.
- Doctor Robert Elliott: ...and I'm married.
- Liz Blake: Fucked a lot of them, too.”
Nancy Allen - Liz Blake
Sir Michael Caine - Doctor Robert Elliott

“- Sarah: Tomorrow my parents are going to know I'm not a virgin anymore!
- Tom: You haven't been a virgin since college.
- Sarah: Yeah, but tomorrow they're going to know for sure.”

Brittany Murphy - Sarah
Ashton Kutcher - Tom