“- Lucy: I know you've always wanted me, and I've always wanted you. Finally we can be together.
- Harker: But Lucy, I'm engaged to Mina... and you're dead.
- Lucy: I'm not dead. I'm undead.
- Harker: Yes, well, I'm not unengaged.”
Lysette Anthony - Lucy Westenra
Steven Weber - Harker

“- Leo Bloom: Oh, Max. Max, she's fantastic. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I've never felt this way before. It's like a volcano erupting inside of me... like hot lava rising higher and higher and - What is that, Max? What is it?
- Max Bialystock: It's called an erection. It's either that or malaria.”
Matthew Broderick - Leo Bloom
Nathan Lane - Max Bialystock

“It is you, Kay, and you're alive! But what is it, Kay? You seem to be cold, like death. You seem to be Kay, but there's a strange difference. It's almost as if I didn't know you.”

Robert Paige - Frank Stanley

“- Katherine Caldwell: Count Alucard's real name is Count Dracula.
- Frank Stanley: Count Dracula? You mean the Hungarian who's supposed to have become...
- Katherine Caldwell: Don't use that word. We don't like it. Say, rather, that we are undead, immortal.”
Louise Allbritton - Katherine Caldwell
Robert Paige - Frank Stanley

“- Frank Stanley: Do you mean you deliberately planned this? You married him so you could become a...
- Katherine Caldwell: So you and I could attain immortality, yes.”

Robert Paige - Frank Stanley
Louise Allbritton - Katherine Caldwell