“The Producers” quotes(2005)
Plot – In Broadway, Max Bialystock is an unsuccessful theater producer who – helped by the shy accountant Leo Bloom - decides to stage a disastrous play to run away with the investors’ money. They choose “Springtime for Hitler”, a text written by a Nazi criminal escaped in the USA, Franz Liebken. They cast the untalented director Roger DeBris, a sexy Swedish dancer and secretary-receptionist, called Ulla. Liebken plays the main role, but he injures himself just before the play and gets replaced by the director. At the premiere, the play is extremely successful, so Bialystock and Bloom’s plans are totally overturned.
All actors – Nathan Lane, Matthew Broderick, Uma Thurman, Will Ferrell, Gary Beach, Roger Bart, Eileen Essell, Michael McKean, David Huddleston, Debra Monk, Andrea Martin, Jon Lovitz, Bryn Dowling, Meg Gillentine, Kevin Ligon, Ray Wills, Marilyn Sokol, Brad Oscar, Tory Ross, Brent Barrett, Peter Bartlett, Jim Borstelmann, Kathy Fitzgerald, Jai Rodriguez, Mike Jackson, Keith Kuhl, Keith Lamelle Thomas, Roland Rusinek, Jason Antoon, Madeline Doherty, Jonathan Freeman, Mike McGowan, Timothy Gulan, Patrick S. Brady, John Barrowman, Michael McCormick, Susann Fletcher, Michael Thomas Holmes, Ronn Carroll, Ruth Williamson, John C. Vennema, Fred Applegate, Jerry Richardson, Timothy Shew, Danny Mastrogiorgio, Richard Kind, Naomi Kakuk, Thomas Meehan, Brian Rogalski, Jimmy Smagula, James Biberi, Mel Brooks, Rachel Montez Collins, John Treacy Egan, Robert Fowler, Jack Hayes, Angelique Ilo, Stephanie Michels, Dana Moore, Christopher Nilsson, Christina Marie Norrup, Chris Michael Peterson, Mia Price, Wayne Schroder, John Sloman, Abe Sylvia, Craig Waletzko, Wendy Waring, Jeff Williams, Karen Ziemba, Matt Allen, Matt Baker, Ken Barnett, Alan Bennett, D.B. Bonds, Harry Bouvy, Patrick Boyd, Liam Burke, Eric Michael Gillett, Justin Greer, Peter Gregus, Eric Gunhus, David Havasi, Jason Lacayo, Jamie Laverdier, Mark Ledbetter, David Lowenstein, Ira Mont, Joseph Mooradian, Patrick Mullaney, Marcus Nance, Nick Santa Maria, Denton Tarver, Patrick Wetzel, Steve Wilson, Kent Zimmerman, Leanne Bowman, Angie C. Creighton, Jennifer Lee Crowl, Holly Cruikshank, Colleen Dunn, Jenny Gruby Field, Kimberly Jones, Rhonda Kaufman, Charley King, Renee Klapmeyer, Alison Levenberg, Sarah Misiano, Kandice Pelletier, Katherine Marie Schwing, Michele Utzig, Melanie Allen, Jane Altman, Piper Lindsay Arpan, Mary Ellen Ashley, Margery Beddow, Mimi Bensinger, Pam Bradley, Maureen Brennan, Jane Brockman, Barbara Broughton, Kimberly Calore, Alice Cannon, Warren Carlyle, Eileen Casey, Erin Crouch, Diane Findlay, Norma Fire, Sondra Gorney, James Gray, Ashley Amber Haas, James Hadley, Mary Ann Hannon, Marcia Haufrecht, Cynthia Leigh Heim, Kimberly Hester, Chris Holly, Stacey Todd Holt, Shauna Hoskin, Joan Jaffe, Nancy Johnston, Shari Jordan, Mary Looram, Dana Lorge, C.C. Loveheart, Melissa Rae Mahon, Patricia Mariano, Peter Marinos, Lucy Martin, Liz McKendry, Jeannine Moore, Francine Myles, Jan Neuberger, Denise Nolin, Sylvia Norman, Nancy Ozelli, Jessica Pariseau, Darcy Pulliam, Rita Rehn, Erika Rominger, Lisa Rothauser, Jason Patrick Sands, Joy Seligsohn, Letty Serra, Karen Shallo, Jessica Sheridan, Jennifer Smith, Tracy Terstriep, Cynthia Thole, Chryssie Whitehead, Jill Wolins, Courtney Young, Will Armstrong, Collin Baja, Seth Belliston, Scott Davidson, Gary Franco, Sean Martin Hingston, Michael Jablonski, Terace Jones, Jim Kinney, Richie Mastascusa, Barry McNabb, Mark Myars, Wes Pope, Danny Rutigliano, John Salvatore, Marcos Santana, Chad Schiro, Courter Simmons, Robert Wersinger, Michael Goddard, Kelly Sullivan, Matthew J. Vargo, Angie L. Schworer, Jeremy Benton, Scott Fowler, Brad Musgrove, Eric Altheide, Robert Bartley, Joshua Bennett, Timothy Bish, Dan Bittner, Scott Blokker, Shane Braddock, Barry Brown, Mark Burrell, Jordan Cable, Matthew Cassaro, Todd Alan Crain, Michael Todd Curry, Wyatt Darling, Kip Driver, Charles Duff, Andrew Fitch, Ben Franklin, Derek M. Gatts, Michael Gillis, Aaron Hamilton, Brad Hampton, Jamie R. Harris, Bram Heidinger, Andy Kelso, Paul Lane, Brian J. Marcum, Matthew Morris, Patrick Holden O'Neill, Steve Parmenter, Adam Pelty, Jason Craig Poole, Josh Rhodes, Ed Roggenkamp, J. Brandon Savage, Jonathan Sexsmith, Jerry Sher, David Spangenthal, Jake Speck, Billy Sprague Jr., Jonathan Stahl, Fletcher Stephens, Cameron Stevens, Jeremy J. Sullivan, Charlie Sutton, Sean Van der Wilt, Tom Walker, Matt Wall, John Wannen Jr., Theis Weckesser, Nathan Williams, Sheridan Wright, Julio Augustin, Sebastian La Cause, J.C. Montgomery, Chris Vasquez, David Brown, Greg Butler, Jerry Ciauri, Teddy Coluca, Alexander Gemignani, Sean Johnson, Dominique Kelley, Bobby Pestka, Rodriguez Al D., Terence Schappert, Jim Tooey, Michael Tourek, Adam Zotovich, Robert Armitage, James Brown III, Amy Hall, Luke Longacre, Barrett Martin, Karl Warden, Mindy Wild, Annie Baria, Robert Bizik, Randy Blair, Jennifer Clippinger, Bob DeVito, George Dvorsky, Hunter Foster, Tony Galtieri, Steve Geary, Francesca Harper, Rick Kain, Judy Kaye, Daniel Koenig, Eric Lombart, Rich Lounello, Pete Macnamara, Dominick Mancino, Michael X. Martin, Darrell Matlock, Riley G. Matthews Jr., Sally Mayes, Susan McBrien, David McDaniel, Dolores McDougal, Cody Melton, Robert Montano, Bill Nolte, Nancy Opel, Marilyn Pasekoff, Raymond Rodriguez, Joe Rosario, Luke Rosen, Kevin Sebastian, Matt Semino, Ken Sladyk, Nell Snaidas, Frank Stellato, Jenny Lynn Suckling, Sonny Vellozzi, Jay Brian Winnick, Cornell Womack, Victor Yerrid, Dianne Zaremba, Steven Zweigbaumshow all
“The Producers” Quotes 24 quotes
“Do I smell the revolting stench of self-esteem?”
“Violinists love to play an E-string, but audiences really love a G-string!”
“Why you miserable, cowardly, wretched little caterpillar! Don't you ever want to become a butterfly? Don't you want to spread your wings, and flap your way to glory?”
“Broadway! I haven't been so happy since we crushed Poland!”
“- Franz Liebkind: Not many people know this, but the Fuhrer was descended from a long line of English queens.
- Max Bialystock: Is that right?”
“- Leo Bloom: Actors are not animals! They're human beings!
- Max Bialystock: They are? Have you ever eaten with one?”
“The Fuhrer wasn't a mousy little mama's boy! The Fuhrer was butch!”
“We got the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did we go right?”
“Mr. Marks, you were right about one thing. You are a CPA. A Certified Public Ass-hole!”
“I'm not going to the toilet, I'm going to showbiz!”
“I was never a member of the Nazi Party! I only followed orders. I had nothing to do with the war! I didn't even know there was a war on. We lived in the back, right across from Switzerland. All we heard was yodelling... yoodle le he hoo!”
“Mr. Bialystock, I'm afraid you've mistaken me for someone with a spine.”
“Hold me touch me, hold me touch me... Kiss me feel me, yank me spank me, suck me fu... ah! Hold me touch me!”
“Just like Julius Caesar was betrayed by Brutus, who'd think an accountant would turn out to be my Judas! I'm so dismayed, is this how I'm repaid? To be... Betrayed!”
- Leo Bloom: I'm very sorry I caught you feeling up the old lady.
- Max Bialystock: "Feeling up the old lady". Thank you Mr. Tact.
“- Leo Bloom: Let's assume for a moment, that you are a dishonest man.
- Max Bialystock: Assume away.”
“- Leo Bloom: Oh, Max. Max, she's fantastic. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen. I've never felt this way before. It's like a volcano erupting inside of me... like hot lava rising higher and higher and - What is that, Max? What is it?
- Max Bialystock: It's called an erection. It's either that or malaria.”
“Shut up! I'm having a rhetorical conversation!”