“- Chris Knight: Have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?
- David Decker: She happens to be my daughter.
- Chris Knight: Oh. Then I guess you have.”

Val Kilmer - Chris Knight
Ed Lauter - David Decker

“- Agent 99: Are you staring at my butt?
- Maxwell Smart: No, no, I... I was, but I'm not... I'm staring again.”
Anne Hathaway - Agent 99
Steve Carrell - Maxwell Smart

“- Agent 99: Did you see anything while I was dancing?
- Maxwell Smart: Just once, but I don't think you expected him to lift you so high.”
Anne Hathaway - Agent 99
Steve Carrell - Maxwell Smart

“- Maxwell Smart: Well, you were no help at all.
- Agent 99: How could I help? I'm just a woman with a dusty old uterus.
- Maxwell Smart: I never said dusty.”
Steve Carrell - Maxwell Smart
Anne Hathaway - Agent 99

“I'm short for my height.”
Lucy Liu - Lindsey