“- Beverly Pear: Your daughter has to go to the bathroom!
- Randy Pear: All right, all right, Jason, look in the back for an empty jar.
- Beverly Pear: A jar? Girls don't pee in jars.
- Randy Pear: Oh, right. Sorry. Jason, we're gonna need a jar and a funnel.”
Kathy Najimy - Beverly Pear
Jon Lovitz - Randy Pear

You ever hearDad introduce us to people? "This is our daughter Dottie, and this is our other daughter, Dottie's sister". Should've just had you and bought a dog!
Lori Petty - Kit Keller

“I know my girl ain't so pretty as these girls, but that's my fault. I raised her like I would a boy. I didn't know any better. She loves to play. Don't make my little girl suffer because I messed up raising her. Please.”
Eddie Jones - Dave Hooch

“- 'Joliet' Jake Blues: [fakes accent] How much for the little girl? How much for the women?
- Father: What?
- 'Joliet' Jake Blues: Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters... sell them to me. Sell me your children!”
John Belushi - Joliet' Jake Blues
Ben Piazza - Father

“Life lesson. A lot of people think the moment a parent lets go of their child is at the wedding. Not me. Think he's crying because he's giving away his daughter? Uh-uh. It's because she's marrying this guy.”
Martin Lawrence - James