“I was trying to make you feel better and you hit me in the head! Now there's a bump on my head. It looks like a dinosaur egg. If that dinosaur hatches people are gonna think I'm some sort of prehistoric gentleman bird.”

Jonah Hill - Cooker

“Oh my God! Oh my God! My twin brother has been shot! I think it was an Asian gang or something... there was this guy, he looked Asian... and he was speaking another language, I'm pretty sure it was... Asian.”

Ben Stiller - Sam Sweet

“- Detective Mike Lowrey: All these guns in here, and don't none of y'all got no bullets?
- Tito Vargas: I got one, in my hip!
- Syd: Oh God, he's hit!”

Will Smith - Detective Mike Lowrey
Reynaldo Gallegos - Tito Vargas
Gabrielle Union - Syd

“- Gus: You shot me.
- Agent Hymes: That's the first true thing you've said yet.”
Simon Pegg - Gus
Jon Polito - Agent Hymes

“If that knife's missing, I'll look for it in your back.”
Myrna Loy - Nora Charles