“We may not always get what we want. We may not always get what we need. Just so is we don't get what we deserve!”
James Spader - Tim Gerrity

“Allow me to untangle this web of shit. I don't care if his last job was jugging apples for a hut full of pygmies on the outskirts of the Congo! This man fits the bill, and you need him! And that's why the rhino's going to get exactly what he deserves.”

Danny DeVito - Burke Bennett

“- Maria: How many jobs did you have?
- Larry: I don't know. A lot. I change every two or three years. If it looks like I might be successful. I move on.
- Maria: You don't want to be successful?
- Larry: I want to be happy.”
Isabella Rossellini - Maria
Ted Danson - Larry

“- Clive Rooney: You've had a huge success with this romance novel of yours. What'd you do? Pulling over at truck stops, jotting it down on paper napkins?
- Jack Willis: Yeah, pretty much, I was, actually.”
Adam Ray - Clive Rooney
Hugh Jackman - Jack Willis

“You've got strange ideas about justice. You don't want to hit nobody unless they deserve it. Now, that's all right, but we're in business. And business is different!”

George "Gabby" Hayes - Doc Grunch