“We may not always get what we want. We may not always get what we need. Just so is we don't get what we deserve!”
James Spader - Tim Gerrity

“- Caroline Sexton: You poor, deluded little monkey. Who do you think brought you to these people? Without me, Brad, you would be nothing.
- Brad Sexton: I beg your pardon, but I had a very successful real estate career before I ever met you.”
Kirstie Alley - Caroline Sexton
Tim Allen - Brad Sexton

“- Brad Hamilton: Why don't you get a job, Spicoli?
- Jeff Spicoli: What for?
- Brad Hamilton: You need money.
- Jeff Spicoli: All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine.”
Judge Reinhold - Brad Hamilton
Sean Penn - Jeff Spicoli

“- Earl Hooter: Sounds like your looking to get yourself fired, little lady.
- Elvira: Yeah, go ahead and fire me. I need this job like a leper needs a three-way mirror!”
Lee McLaughlin - Earl Hooter
Cassandra Peterson - Elvira

“You've got strange ideas about justice. You don't want to hit nobody unless they deserve it. Now, that's all right, but we're in business. And business is different!”

George "Gabby" Hayes - Doc Grunch