“I have decided to give up on women and put all of that energy into tomatoes.”
Jake Johnson - Nick Miller

“Some guys wanted to take me to a topless bar. I didn't want to go but I ended up going, cause you guys will back me up on this, you've seen one woman nekid... you wanna see the rest of them nekid!”
Ron White - Ron White

“- CW Briggs: There's a deck of cards with naked women on it.
- Laura Kensington: Let me guess, you use it to play solitaire.
- CW Briggs: I used to date the six of spades.”
Woody Allen - CW Briggs
Charlize Theron - Laura Kensington

“Ask him if he understands what tremendous pleasure women get looking at naked men.”

Jacqueline Bisset - Claudia Dennis

“- Jeff: What'd we do to deserve this?
- Neil: We died and went to heaven.”

David Millbern - Jeff
Joseph Alan Johnson - Neil