“Blue Collar Comedy Tour” quotes(2003)
“Blue Collar Comedy Tour” Quotes 23 quotes
“Some guys wanted to take me to a topless bar. I didn't want to go but I ended up going, cause you guys will back me up on this, you've seen one woman nekid... you wanna see the rest of them nekid!”
“Some states are trying to abolish the death penalty... my states puttin in an express lane.”
“A glorious absence of sophistication. It can be full-time or part-time, but we're all guilty of it at some time or another. And if you're not guilty of it, then you have relatives who are.”
Have you seen these little freaks? What happened! With the black nail polish, black lipstick, black eyeliner, black hair, and Liquid Paper-white face. I'm sorry, didn't we used to call that "Halloween"?
If you think "Silence Of The Lambs" is what happens when Larry goes out to the barn, you might be a redneck.
It is so rare that I am at a loss for words, the only response I could come up with was, I said "I'll bet that is the first time in history the headline of the paper could include the words 'beaver' and 'nipple' and nobody would be offended by it".
If you think "fast food" is hitting a deer at 65 miles an hour, you might be a redneck.
It is the hardest thing you will ever do in your life. And people who have never smoked just don't get that. My wife goes "I don't understand why you just don't quit. Just put them down and quit". I go "I am trying. It is hard". And she goes "I'm sorry. I don't understand why you just don't quit". And I go "Why don't you quit yelling?".
“If you think a 401k is your mother-in-law's bra size, you might be a redneck.”
I'm trying to be nice to her because she's my daughter's friend. My daughter says "Daddy, this is my friend Lucy". I said "Well, hey Lucy... fer!
Nothing says "Happy anniversary, sweetheart" like rubber dog turds.
“If you think N'Sync is where your dirty dishes are, you might be a redneck.”
“If you missed fifth grade graduation because you had jury duty, you might be a redneck.”
“In Texas we have the death penalty, and we use it! If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill you back! That's our policy!”
If you have a full set of salad bowls and they all say "cool whip" on the side, you might be a redneck.
“If you work without a shirt on and so does your husband, you might be a redneck.”