“- Chet: You will be Shee-lana, Shee-lana, the oak tree woman.
- Connie: Oh, I love it when I'm the oak tree woman!
- Chet: Temptress of the woods.
- Connie: Yes, Yes!
- Chet: Yes, and I will be... Burt.
- Connie: Burt!
- Chet: A guy named Burt. Or I could be Smokey's cousin horny.”
John Candy - Chet Ripley
Stephanie Faracy - Connie Ripley

“The greatest sensual pleasure there is is to know the desires of another!”
Ted Sorel - Dr. Edward Pretorius

“I love the smell of bridesmaids in the morning.”
Jake Busey - Kyle Brenner

“There is nothing sexier than smoke billowing proudly out of a woman's hot, red, engorged nostrils.”
Gene Hackman - William B. Tensy

“Anyone with any common sense can be sexy.”
Diane Ladd - Mother