John Candy quotes
“You wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right, I talk too much. I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you... but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. Well, you think what you want about me; I'm not changing. I like... I like me. My wife likes me. My customers...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Wherever you go in the world, you just have to say you're Canadian and people laugh.”
“You know, the finest line a man will walk is between success at work and success at home.”
“I've got a slight weight problem. Yeah, yeah I do. Yeah, I do. I went to this doctor. Well, he told me I swallow a lot of aggression... along with a lot of pizzas! Ha Ha Ha! Pizzas! I'm basically a shy person, I'm a shy guy. Uh, he suggested taking one these uh, aggression training courses. You know these aggression training courses like EST,...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- State Trooper: What the hell are you driving here?
- Del Griffith: We had a small fire last night, but we caught it in the nick of time.
- State Trooper: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
- Del Griffith: Funny enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to see with...” (continue)(continue reading)
- Neal Page: Let me close this conversation by saying that you are one unique individual.
- Del Griffith: Unique... what's that, Latin for "asshole"?
“- Harry Crumb: What's this? An egg?
- Eliot Draison: It's a pterodactyl egg. It's fossilized. It's 90 million years old. In the entire world, only two of these have ever been found.
- Harry Crumb: You know, that may be worth something.”
“I think I may have become an actor to hide from myself. You can escape into a character.”
“As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything.”
“- Allen Bauer: You know by the time I got there, she was already gone.
- Freddie Bauer: Victoria left, huh?
- Allen Bauer: Yeah. You know why she left Freddie? Because I didn't love her.
- Freddie Bauer: That bitch.”
“- Mrs. MacIntyre: You are a poor excuse for a human being!
- Harry Crumb: Says you!”
“Bear... bear... Big Bear... big bear chase meeeeeeee...!”
“- Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: Rusty, may I call you Rusty? I had a bad experience on this ride once.
- Rusty Griswold: What happened?
- Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: I threw up.”
“- Danny Muldoon: I'll pick you up at seven. Where do you live?
- Theresa Luna: Here.
- Danny Muldoon: With the stiffs?
- Theresa Luna: My father and I have an apartment upstairs.”
“It doesn't matter if they come in first or 50th. Those guys have earned the right to represent their country. They've earned the right to march into that stadium and wave their nation's flag. That's the single greatest honor an athlete can ever have. That's what the Olympics are about.”
“- Neal Page: Del... why did you kiss my ear?
- Del Griffith: Why are you holding my hand?
- Neal Page: [frowns] Where's your other hand?
- Del Griffith: Between two pillows...
- Neal Page: Those aren't pillows!”
“- Diane Lightson: Does he treat all traffic violators this graciously?
- Dennis: Only ones he takes a special interest in, like bankers.”
“- Ox: It doesn't seem fair.
- John: Fair? Who cares about fair? The world isn't fair. Truth is fair. Is it fair that you were born like this? No! They're not expecting somebody like you in there, Ox. They're expected one of these slugs. You're different. You're weird. You're a mutant. You're a killer. You're a trained killer. You're a lean......” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Ben: Dad?
- Chet: Yes, Ben?
- Ben: Does this mean we won't be getting Christmas presents this year from Aunt Kate and Uncle Roman?
- Buck: Oh, blow it out of your ass, Ben!
- Connie: Okay, nobody is blowing anything out of their ass. What we are having is a little problem, and it doesn't mean your father and I don't love your Aunt Kate and...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Chet: You bastard! You bastard!
- Roman: I think he's saying go faster.”