Melissa McCarthy quotes
“- Susan Cooper: Where'd you get a suit?
- Rick Ford: I fucking made it, didn't I?”
“Caustic wit is my religion.”
“Emily Stanton-Lydia, do you have any idea what you’ve done? I’ve worked for this my entire life, and you’ve ruined everything.
Lydia Berman-Oh, I don’t know what was in those needles, but I’m totally happy to give it back to you. I can like pee in a cup, or something.”
“- Lee Israel: Can you keep a secret?
- Jack Hock: Who would I tell? All my friends are dead.”
“I'm a 51-year-old who likes cats better than people.”
“Did he also make you dress like a slutty dolphin trainer?”
“You want something to eat? I didn't finish my submarine sandwich from the other day.”
“I look like someone's homophobic aunt!”
“- Oliver: I had sushi.
- Maggie: You had sushi?
- Oliver: Well, sardines. He calls it sushi. Didn't want to hurt his feelings.”
“- Robin: Hey, Shannon.
- Mullins: Hi, Robin.
- Robin: I really enjoyed our night together, Shannon. You just disappeared on me.
- Mullins: Yeah, I know. I was there.
- Robin: Well, can I take you to dinner? A movie or something?
- Mullins: God, buddy, do you not hear how pathetic everything out of your mouth sounds? I mean, there's a girl out...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Bradley Fine: Is he dangerous?
- Susan Cooper: Only if you have boobs.”
“- Rick Ford: I've swallowed enough microchips and shit them back out again to make a computer. This arm has been ripped off completely and re-attached with this fuckin' arm.
- Susan Cooper: I don't know that that's possible... I mean medically...”
“- Tihomir Boyanov: I'm now the only one who knows just where that dangerously compact and transportable nuke is. So... I'd say I have more than ten seconds.
- Bradley Fine: Well then in that case, I'd say you'd better st- [sneezes and accidentally shoots Tihomir in the head]
- Bradley Fine: Oh, fuck...
- Susan Cooper: [on earpiece] Oh my God,...” (continue)(continue reading)
“You're a loud kisser, and it's gross and unappealing. You look like some old toothless woman suckin' the jelly out of a donut.”
“I can see your gun, unless you're so extreme that you have a second dick coming out of your hip!”
“If you're not in trouble you're not doing your job.”
“My fear is that I'm gonna put you in a bikini and you'll still look like a fucking bank teller.”
“- Robert Meary: I can't teach people to write poetry. It has to come from your experience... from your insides.
- Cici Pinkus: What do you do if everything inside you is ugly?
- Robert Meary: Your life may be ugly, kid, but a successful poem about it will not be ugly because the poem will illuminate and communicate the horror of your life to...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Susan Cooper: [wakes up next to Ford] Aaaaah!
- Rick Ford: Oh, stop screaming, you loved it!
- Susan Cooper: Ugh, God.”
“Oh my God, Rayna. Thank God your hair broke your fall.”