“- Charlie Carbone: It's a continent, Louis. He can go very far.
- Louis Booker: I know it's a continent. I read the book.
- Charlie Carbone: Did you happen to read the chapter on not putting your jacket on a wild animal?
- Louis Booker: No, but I did read the chapter on how an aborigine can kill a white man with a twig. Do you want to see that one?”

Jerry O'Connell - Charlie Carbone
Anthony Anderson - Louis Booker

“You're lucky. With Fraulein Helga it was a snake!”

Norma Varden - Frau Schmidt

“- Oliver: You believe in killing animals?
- Gwen Cummings: Yes.
- Oliver: For clothing?
- Gwen Cummings: Absolutely.
- Oliver: So do I.”
Mike O'Malley - Oliver
Sandra Bullock - Gwen Cummings

“- Girl in Park: Look, Dad. There's a bear.
- Father: No, Christine, that's a frog. Bears wear hats.”

Christine Nelson - Girl in Park
Jerry Nelson - Man in Park

“Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club? Turtle, turtle, turtle!”
Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey