“The Master of Disguise” quotes

Movie The Master of Disguise
Title The Master of Disguise
Year 2002
Director Perry Andelin Blake
Genre Comedy, Family
Plot – Employed as a waiter in his father's Italian restaurant, the young Pistachio Disguisey has a real talent as an imitator. What Pistachio does not know is that this is a hereditary gift that originated with a mysterious power called 'Energetic'. Because of this special gift, Pistachio's father ends up in the crosshairs of Devlin Bowman, a criminal genius who intends to steal the most important treasures of the world.
All actors – Dana Carvey, Brent Spiner, Jennifer Esposito, Harold Gould, James Brolin, Austin Wolff, Edie McClurg, Maria Canals-Barrera, Robert Machray, Michael Bailey Smith, Rachel Lederman, Vincent Riverside, Mark Devine, Kenan Thompson, Jay Johnston, Mark Ginther, Carrick O'Quinn, Mitch Silpa, John Tenn, Virginia Hawkins, Jessica Simpson, Jonathan Loughran, Ted Rooney, Brandon Molale, Erick Avari, Phil Jones, Michael DeLuise, Larry Cedar, Andrew Shaifer, Vincent Castellanos, Roger Mussenden, Al Goto, Simon Rhee, Kevin Nealon, Bill Cho Lee, Chao Li Chi, Steve Gormley, Christel Smith, Ava Metz, Michael Johnson, Bo Derek, Barry Bernardi, Brian Catalano, Gabriel Pimentel, Martha Del Rio, Guelmarí Oppenheimer, Tracy E. Wilson, Patricia De Leon, Phil Fischer, Steven Hack, Dane Morris, Cole Sprouse, Dylan Sprouse, Bryan Jeffrey Price, Andy Morrow, Naya Rivera, Julius Ritter, Brighton Hertford, Sandra Lindquist, Eugene C. Palmer, Leland Crooke, Mike Johnson, Michael Phillips, Buddy Bolton, Stuart Quan, Spencer Sano, Hiro Koda, Johnny Nguyen, Yoshio Iizuka, Ronn Surels, Andy Cheng, Steven Ho, Tony Wilde, Berglind Icey, Leasi Andrews, Anna Marie Goddard, Theresa Madelin Lin, Adrian Armas, Gustavo Vargas, Jessica Lee Keller, Paul Benshoof, Oscar Orosco, Andrea Bogart, Paulette Maxwell, Paula Abdul, Lisa Danielle, Lisa Foiles, Jesse V. Johnson, Shane Lyons, Kyle Sullivan, Jesse Ventura
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  • “My father, your son... Holy cannoli, you are my sister!”
    Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey
    [Tag:family, relatives]
  • “- Grandfather Disguisey: Who are you now?
    - Pistachio Disguisey: The question is not who I am, the question is who are you? I'm Prince Lali Jhamba from the Ringy Dingy Heights near Bombay, Calcutta and New Delhi, India. India. India.”

    Harold Gould - Grandfather Disguisey
    Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey
  • “Am I not turtley enough for the turtle club? Turtle, turtle, turtle!”
    Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey
    [Tag:animals, clothes, snob]
  • “- Art Dealer: It appears to be of 12th century Tuscan design...
    - Pistachio Disguisey: I knew it was old, you fool! Let me appraise you… you're an idiot. A complete and total idiot!”

    Vincent Castellanos - Art Dealer
    Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey
    [Tag:art, insult, quality]
  • “- Grandfather Disguisey: When you were on the roof, did you hear something like this?
    [Slaps Pistachio]
    - Pistachio Disguisey: Yes exactly that! But without the pain on my face. We have a clue!”

    Harold Gould - Grandfather Disguisey
    Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey
    [Tag:face, noise, parents]
  • “[as Gammy Num-Nums] We don't want to go anywhere with you, Melon Head!”
    Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey
    [Tag:fruits, head, insult]
  • “Who's your daddy, who's your daddy, who's your daddy?”

    Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey
    [Tag:face, father, violence]
  • “- Texas Man: Am I going too fast for ya?
    - Pistachio Disguisey: Am I going to fast for ya?
    - Texas Wife: Are you mocking my husband?
    - Pistachio Disguisey: Are you mocking my husband?
    - Texas Wife: ‘Cuz you better not be.
    - Pistachio Disguisey: ‘Cuz you better not be.”

    Robert Machray - Texas Man
    Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey
    Rachel Lederman - Texas Wife
    [Tag:game, imitation, speed]
  • “Get it, got it, doubt it.”
    Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey
  • “[as Gammy Num-Nums] And yet, Backstreet Boy, this is one girl who isn't content to be the Malcolm in your middle!”
    Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey
  • - Jennifer Baker: You said "Love Cake"!
    - Pistachio Disguisey: Why would I say that? Your hindquarters are hideously scrawny!
    - Jennifer Baker: What?
    - Pistachio Disguisey: What I was trying to say is that I have a present for Barney. [hands her knee pads] Tell him they are from his dad... da da da dat Italian guy... Me.

    Jennifer Esposito - Jennifer Baker
    Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey
  • “It's so crazy, it just might work.”
    Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey
  • “- Pistachio Disguisey: This is what I want you to do. Any Questions?
    - Devlin Bowman: Did you just tell me to shut up?
    - Pistachio Disguisey: Yes.”

    Dana Carvey - Pistachio Disguisey
    Brent Spiner - Devlin Bowman
    [Tag:order, silence]