“- Josh: I didn't want to mention this with mom around but I know a place where all kids who have to repeat a grade get together. It's way beyond the Bluffs, high above the Pacific Coast highway.
- Sam: What do they do there?
- Josh: Jump off.”
Jacob Tierney - Josh
Noah Fleiss - Sam

“- Pik van Cleef: I've been looking all over for you.
- Chance Boudreaux: You've been looking in the wrong places.
- Pik van Cleef: That's good, 'cause I know you wouldn't want to hurt my feelings.”
Arnold Vosloo - Pik van Cleef
Jean-Claude Van Damme - Chance Boudreaux

“You gotta embrace your worthlessness. You know, just think about all the greatest losers throughout history: UPN, the metric system, Kevin Costner...”
Kevin P. Farley - Doug Linus

“The other places are like kindergardens compared with this. It smells so incredibly evil! I didn't think such a place existed except in my own imagination. It has a ghastly familiarity like a half-remembered dream. Anything could happen here... any moment...”
Gene Tierney - Poppy

“- Mimi-Siku: In Lipo Lipo, we eat with hands.
- Michael Cromwell: In New York, New York, we eat with forks.”
Sam Huntington - Mimi-Siku
Tim Allen - Michael Cromwell