“- Buck Russell: Did you brush your teeth?
- Miles Russell: Yeah. You can even feel my toothbrush.
- Buck Russell: You know, I have a friend who works at the crime lab at the police station. I could give him your toothbrush and he could run a test on it. To see if you actually brushed your teeth or just ran your toothbrush under the faucet.”
John Candy - Buck Russell
Macaulay Culkin - Miles Russell

“- Eva: You have, like, eighty million toothbrushes.
- Albert: I do?
- Eva: Yeah.
- Albert: I only use one of them.
- Eva: Then why don't you just throw the other ones out?
- Albert: I don't know. Because they're my friends?”
Julia Louis-Dreyfus - Eva
James Gandolfini - Albert

“My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.”
Adam Sandler - Robert 'Bobby' Boucher Jr.

“- Phil Davis: How can you stop an angry dog from biting you on Monday?
- Betty Haynes: That joke is old. The answer is to kill the dog on Sunday!
- Phil Davis: That's not the way to stop a dog from biting you on Monday!
- Betty Haynes: How would you bring the thing about?
- Phil Davis: Have the doggy's teeth pulled out!”
Danny Kaye - Phil Davis
Rosemary Clooney - Betty Haynes

“- Carla: My dad gives these instead of candy!
- Daniel: Up and down, but not across. ”

Juliette Lewis - Carla
Giovanni Ribisi - Danny