Christmas quotes

“In Virginia, high school football is a way of life, it's bigger than Christmas day.”
Hayden Panettiere - Sheryl Yoast

All I want fo Christmas is 2 fat bicthes with a name belt that say "glitter" on it.
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“It's Christmas Eve! It's... it's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we... we... we smile a little easier, we... w-w-we... we... we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be!”
Bill Murray - Frank Cross

“Man, we gotta have this party we had some bad hoes coming in here! They said they gonna fuck for a buck, do something strange for a little change an you know we gonna make 'em holla for a doller.”
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“Five o'clock Christmas morning, I run downstairs and look under the tree and what do I find? Uncle Alfresco, dead on the floor, shot through the back of the head. Plus no bicycle. It was a disappointing Christmas on many levels.”
Steve Martin - Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli

“- Mama Meley: What you want for Christmas, child?
- J.T. Gamble: A cat. I want me this cat I found.”
Theresa Merritt - Mama Meley
Kevin Hooks - J.T. Gamble

“All I want for Christmas, Santa, is two fat bitches, 2 bags a weed and 2 bags of chips to give to the fat bitches.”
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“I believe in Santa Claus. I believe in the Easter Bunny. I believe in the Tooth Fairy. But I don't believe in you. This is battery acid. Now, you disappear!”
Dennis Christopher - Eddie Kaspbrak

“[Craig Jones walks into kitchen to discover Burglar dressed as Santa Claus eating a sandwich]
- Craig Jones: What the hell you doing in my house; eating a big ass sandwich and shit?
- Santa Claus: Nigga, I'm Santa Claus; where the fuck are the milk and cookies? ”
Ice Cube - Craig Jones
Rickey Smiley - Santa Claus

“There's something about a Christmas sweater that will always make me laugh.”
Kristen Wiig

“Bill-You're fired.
Sebastian-It's Christmas.
Bill-Yeah, I see the decorations. Good luck in the New Year.”
J. K. Simmons - Bill
Ryan Gosling - Sebastian

“Oh look, uglynaked guy is decorating his Christmas tree! Wow, you should see the size of his Christmas balls!”
Lisa Kudrow - Phoebe Buffay

“That is what Christmas should be about, I think - togetherness and playfulness. It's like a game.”
Billy Howle

“Letters. You don't really write many these days, do you? But I bet there's one you never forget. Send it off to a certain plump guy in a red suit and, provided you've kept your act together more or less, he'll drop off a toy or two. And yet, no one seems to wonder how the whole thing got started in the first place. This is a story about letters,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jason Schwartzman - Jesper

“Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind... and that's what's been changing. That's why I'm glad I'm here, maybe I can do something about it.”
Edmund Gwenn - Kris Kringle

“Yeah, there's a lot of bad 'isms' floatin' around this world, but one of the worst is commercialism. Make a buck, make a buck. Even in Brooklyn it's the same - don't care what Christmas stands for, just make a buck, make a buck.”
Alvin Greenman - Alfred

And the avarice... the avarice never ends! "I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue". Look, I don't wanna make waves, but this whole Christmas season is... stupid, stupid, stupid!
Jim Carrey - Grinch

“Remind me, please, to put him on my Christmas list, if I could figure out how to make a letter bomb.”
Jason Biggs - Jerry Falk

“- Carol: Someone tracked down and bought all those wonderful antique toys.
- Scott Calvin: Probably someone that knows his way around eBay.”

Elizabeth Mitchell - Carol
Tim Allen - Scott Calvin

“Maybe that whole love thing is just a grown-up version of Santa Claus; just a myth we've been fed since childhood. So, we keep buyingmagazines, joining clubs, and doing therapy and watchingmovies with hit pop songs played over love montages all in a pathetic attempt to explain why our love Santa keeps getting caught in the chimney.”
Meg Ryan - Kate McKay

“- Felix: I knew it. It's a birthday party for the new king.
- Cyrus: No, no. I'm pretty certain it's a baby shower.
- Deborah: Or maybe they're referring to the coming Messiah. The Son of God.
- Cyrus: Okay, now, I'm starting to worry about her.
- Felix: Deborah, are you okay? How many hooves am I holding up?”

Tracy Morgan - Felix
Tyler Perry - Cyrus
Oprah Winfrey - Deborah

“Mum's throwing a Christmas party slash political rally. It's like the G8 summit with Scotch eggs.”
Jim Broadbent - Dad

“- Balthazar: For Jesus, Gold.
- Melchior: Myrrh.
- Caspar: Do you like Frankincense? I never know what to get.”
Phil Morris - Balthazar
Fred Tatasciore - Melchior
Joel Osteen - Caspar

“We plunged into the cornucopia quivering with desire and the ecstasy of unbridled avarice.”

Jean Shepherd - Ralphie as an Adult

“- Tom: Look, it's all completely chicken soup.
- Nick the Greek: It's what?
- Tom: It's kosher. As Christmas.
- Nick the Greek: The Jews don't celebrate Christmas, Tom.”
Jason Flemyng - Tom
Stephen Marcus - Nick The Greek