Christmas quotes

“In Virginia, high school football is a way of life, it's bigger than Christmas day.”
Hayden Panettiere - Sheryl Yoast

All I want fo Christmas is 2 fat bicthes with a name belt that say "glitter" on it.
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“It's Christmas Eve! It's... it's the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we... we... we smile a little easier, we... w-w-we... we... we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the people that we always hoped we would be!”
Bill Murray - Frank Cross

“Man, we gotta have this party we had some bad hoes coming in here! They said they gonna fuck for a buck, do something strange for a little change an you know we gonna make 'em holla for a doller.”
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“Five o'clock Christmas morning, I run downstairs and look under the tree and what do I find? Uncle Alfresco, dead on the floor, shot through the back of the head. Plus no bicycle. It was a disappointing Christmas on many levels.”
Steve Martin - Vincent 'Vinnie' Antonelli

“- Mama Meley: What you want for Christmas, child?
- J.T. Gamble: A cat. I want me this cat I found.”
Theresa Merritt - Mama Meley
Kevin Hooks - J.T. Gamble

“All I want for Christmas, Santa, is two fat bitches, 2 bags a weed and 2 bags of chips to give to the fat bitches.”
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“I believe in Santa Claus. I believe in the Easter Bunny. I believe in the Tooth Fairy. But I don't believe in you. This is battery acid. Now, you disappear!”
Dennis Christopher - Eddie Kaspbrak

“[Craig Jones walks into kitchen to discover Burglar dressed as Santa Claus eating a sandwich]
- Craig Jones: What the hell you doing in my house; eating a big ass sandwich and shit?
- Santa Claus: Nigga, I'm Santa Claus; where the fuck are the milk and cookies? ”
Ice Cube - Craig Jones
Rickey Smiley - Santa Claus

“There's something about a Christmas sweater that will always make me laugh.”
Kristen Wiig

“Oh look, uglynaked guy is decorating his Christmas tree! Wow, you should see the size of his Christmas balls!”
Lisa Kudrow - Phoebe Buffay

“That is what Christmas should be about, I think - togetherness and playfulness. It's like a game.”
Billy Howle

“Letters. You don't really write many these days, do you? But I bet there's one you never forget. Send it off to a certain plump guy in a red suit and, provided you've kept your act together more or less, he'll drop off a toy or two. And yet, no one seems to wonder how the whole thing got started in the first place. This is a story about letters,...” (continue)(continue reading)
Jason Schwartzman - Jesper

“Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind... and that's what's been changing. That's why I'm glad I'm here, maybe I can do something about it.”
Edmund Gwenn - Kris Kringle

“Yeah, there's a lot of bad 'isms' floatin' around this world, but one of the worst is commercialism. Make a buck, make a buck. Even in Brooklyn it's the same - don't care what Christmas stands for, just make a buck, make a buck.”
Alvin Greenman - Alfred

And the avarice... the avarice never ends! "I want golf clubs. I want diamonds. I want a pony so I can ride it twice, get bored and sell it to make glue". Look, I don't wanna make waves, but this whole Christmas season is... stupid, stupid, stupid!
Jim Carrey - Grinch

“Remind me, please, to put him on my Christmas list, if I could figure out how to make a letter bomb.”
Jason Biggs - Jerry Falk

“- Carol: Someone tracked down and bought all those wonderful antique toys.
- Scott Calvin: Probably someone that knows his way around eBay.”

Elizabeth Mitchell - Carol
Tim Allen - Scott Calvin

“Maybe that whole love thing is just a grown-up version of Santa Claus; just a myth we've been fed since childhood. So, we keep buyingmagazines, joining clubs, and doing therapy and watchingmovies with hit pop songs played over love montages all in a pathetic attempt to explain why our love Santa keeps getting caught in the chimney.”
Meg Ryan - Kate McKay

“- Felix: I knew it. It's a birthday party for the new king.
- Cyrus: No, no. I'm pretty certain it's a baby shower.
- Deborah: Or maybe they're referring to the coming Messiah. The Son of God.
- Cyrus: Okay, now, I'm starting to worry about her.
- Felix: Deborah, are you okay? How many hooves am I holding up?”

Tracy Morgan - Felix
Tyler Perry - Cyrus
Oprah Winfrey - Deborah

“Mum's throwing a Christmas party slash political rally. It's like the G8 summit with Scotch eggs.”
Jim Broadbent - Dad

“- Balthazar: For Jesus, Gold.
- Melchior: Myrrh.
- Caspar: Do you like Frankincense? I never know what to get.”
Phil Morris - Balthazar
Fred Tatasciore - Melchior
Joel Osteen - Caspar

“We plunged into the cornucopia quivering with desire and the ecstasy of unbridled avarice.”

Jean Shepherd - Ralphie as an Adult

“- Tom: Look, it's all completely chicken soup.
- Nick the Greek: It's what?
- Tom: It's kosher. As Christmas.
- Nick the Greek: The Jews don't celebrate Christmas, Tom.”
Jason Flemyng - Tom
Stephen Marcus - Nick The Greek

“We'll improvise, just keep kind of loosy-goosy. You hate Christmas, you're gonna steal it!”

Jim Carrey - Grinch