“If you lead the league in batting for three years, you can be the biggest jerk in the world!”
Rich Komenich - Big Horse Borelli

“- Mort: I just want to be involved, that's all I want, is to be involved.
- Eli: You must be going there with a very negative attitude, a negative mentality, and it shows, and it projects itself in some way and they sense it, and that's why they reject you, your going there predisposed to being rejected, that's what I think.”
Martin Harvey Friedberg - Mort
Michael Emil - Eli

“We are not so different, Mr. Badrinath, you and I. I've had all kinds of things shoved up my ass, but I got over it, you will too.”
Cloris Leachman - Great Gam Gam

“The lord wants you to put your foot on their balls and believe in it, because that's what wins football games. Not jumping offsides like a bunch of wimps and faggots.”
Paul Gleason - Wayne Hisler

“- The Blue Fairy: I've given you life.
- Pinocchio: Why?
- The Blue Fairy: Because tonight, Geppetto wished for a real boy.”
Evelyn Venable - The Blue Fairy
Dickie Jones - Pinocchio