Cloris Leachman quotes
“Your low self-esteem is just good common sense.”
“I was in love once. He was a hunter, I was a gatherer. It was quite the scandal. We fed each other berries, we danced. Then father bashed him on the head and traded me to your grandfather.”
“- Christina Bailey: You have only one real lasting love.
- Mike Hammer: Now who could that be?
- Christina Bailey: You. You're one of those self-indulgent males who thinks about nothing but his clothes, his car, himself. Bet you do push-ups every morning just to keep your belly hard.”
“- Mary Haines: What is she doing?
- Maggie: Well, she says she doesn't want to be a woman.”
“Everything is so sad and so wonderful.”
“I'm having an amazing life and it isn't over yet.”
“I've been so relieved and so grateful to not have a god to believe in.”
“- Mildred Cruthers: He was like a brother to me.
- Bernstein: He was your brother.”
“- Great Gam Gam: What happened to you?
- Jan Wolfhouse: Oh, I, uh, accidentally walked into a wall... the Berlin Wall...”
“We are not so different, Mr. Badrinath, you and I. I've had all kinds of things shoved up my ass, but I got over it, you will too.”
“- Deborah Clasky: So tell me again why I can't call him on his cell again?
- Evelyn: Besides that he turned it off?
- Deborah Clasky: Yeah.
- Evelyn: Forty messages starts to look needy.”
“- Aunt Louise: I think it's trying to tell us something!
- Captain Blythe: It's a car, woman, not Lassie!”
“I always sleep better with a little sausage in me.”
“- Deborah Clasky: You were an alcoholic and wildly promiscuous woman during my formative years so that I'm in this fix because of you, it is your fault and I just needed that moment for us to build on.
- Evelyn: You have a solid point dear... but right now the lessons of my life are coming in handy for you.”
“- Aunt Louise: Captain, how can a car release a boy with a key? Explain that.
- Captain Blythe: I can't explain that anymore than I can explain the Bermuda Triangle, madam. Nor do I intend to try.”
“Captain, I am the sponsor of that little car. It's going to win the Brazil Grand Primeo.”
“- Old Woman on Plane and Bus: I'm sorry. You have to speak up, son. I have this ringing in my ears. My doctor says it could be related to my heart palpitations.
- Beavis: Really? I poop too much.
- Old Woman on Plane and Bus: Maybe you're lactose intolerant.
- Beavis: I mean... No, no. I poop too much! And then I get tired.”