- Jackie: I just don't believe it. I refuse.
- Charles W. Grimes: My assistant now used to say "truth is less fun than fiction".
- Jackie: Terry would never do that!
- Claire Kubik: Oh, you're screwin' him so you know him?
- Jackie: Excuse me, Mrs Ron Chapman!
Amanda Peet - Jackie
Morgan Freeman - Charles W. Grimes
Ashley Judd - Claire Kubik

“- Billy Mack: Ask me anything you like, I'll tell you the truth.
- Mikey - DJ Interviewer: Best shag you've ever had?
- Billy Mack: Britney Spears... No, only kidding. She was rubbish.”
Bill Nighy - Billy Mack
Marcus Brigstocke - Mikey - DJ Interviewer

“- Ricky Lipman: I'm the best friend, and I have been in front of her face the whole time, and she just... hasn't really realized it yet, but she will.
- Jake Wyler: Well, I'm the reformed cool guy, who's learned the error of his ways. She's gonna forgive me for my mistakes, and realize that I really love her.
- Ricky Lipman: Dammit, that's true.”

Eric Jungmann - Ricky Lipman
Chris Evans - Jake Wyler

“- Buck Russell: Did you brush your teeth?
- Miles Russell: Yeah. You can even feel my toothbrush.
- Buck Russell: You know, I have a friend who works at the crime lab at the police station. I could give him your toothbrush and he could run a test on it. To see if you actually brushed your teeth or just ran your toothbrush under the faucet.”
John Candy - Buck Russell
Macaulay Culkin - Miles Russell

“- Murtogg: I said no lies.
- Mullroy: I think he's telling the truth.
- Murtogg: If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us.
- Jack Sparrow: Unless, of course, he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you.”
Giles New - Murtogg
Angus Barnett - Mullroy
Johnny Depp - Jack Sparrow