- Scott: If you've got a time machine, why don't you just go back and kill Austin Powers when he's sitting on the crapper or something?
- Dr. Evil: How about... "no", Scott? Okay?
Seth Green - Scott Evil
Mike Myers - Dr. Evil

“- Mayor Scanarotti: Not as long, dear, as I've got a breath in my body.
- Valentina Scanarotti: All right. We'll fix that right away.”

Stefano Masciarelli - Mayor Scanarotti
Fabiana Formica - Valentina Scanarotti

“- Keri Johnson: You think I'd go to California with you? I'd rather go to Nogales, have the Gutterboy's cretin children and die than to be with you.
- Packard Walsh: You better shut up now, Keri, or I'm gonna have to...
- Keri Johnson: Yeah, you can kill me, too, Packard, but you can never make me love you.”
Sherilyn Fenn - Keri Johnson
Nick Cassavetes - Packard Walsh

“- Dr. Austin Sloper: How is it possible to protect such a willing victim?
- Lavinia Penniman: You will kill her if you deny her this marriage.
- Dr. Austin Sloper: You forget I'm a doctor. People don't die of such things.”

Ralph David Richardson - Dr. Austin Sloper
Miriam Hopkins - Lavinia Penniman

“There is something about this generation living now, that we don't accept death.”
Elena Anaya