“Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me” quotes

(1999)
Movie Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Title Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Year 1999
Director Jay Roach
Genre Comedy, Crime, Adventure, Action
Plot – Thanks to a device called time machine, Dr. Evil goes back to 1969 to steal Austin Powers’ prodigious sexual energy, the Mojo. Deprived of his seduction fluid, Powers is forced to use a time gate of the British intelligence to have the Mojo back and fight against Dr. Evil and his crew: the Teutonic Frau Barbissina, the provocative Ivana Humpalot, Mini-Me and the robust Fat Bastard. With the superhero stands Felicity Shagwell, a sexy CIA agent who will help Austin to regain his libido and to foil another Dr. Evil’s plan of world's conquest: this time with a laser shot from the moon.
All actors – Mike Myers, Heather Graham, Michael York, Robert Wagner, Rob Lowe, Seth Green, Mindy Sterling, Verne Troyer, Elizabeth Hurley, Gia Carides, Oliver Muirhead, George Cheung, Jeffrey Meng, Muse Watson, Scott Cooper, Douglas Fisher, Kevin Cooney, Clint Howard, Brian Hooks, David Koechner, Frank Clem, Herb Mitchell, Steve Eastin, Jane Carr, Kevin Durand, Melissa Justin, Nicholas Walker, Stephen Hibbert, David Coy, David Crigger, Tom Ehlen, Dennis Wilson, Eric Winzenried, Tim Bagley, Colton James, Mike Hagerty, Jack Kehler, Kirk Ward, Jeff Garlin, Rachel Wilson, Jennifer Coolidge, John Mahon, Michael McDonald, Jeanette Miller, Mary Jo Smith, Carrie Ann Inaba, Jennifer Hamilton, Ayesha Orange, Natalie Willes, John R. Corella, Alison Faulk, Michelle Elkin, Shealan Spencer, Tovaris Wilson, Bree Turner, Marisa Gilliam, Mark Meismer, Salvatore Vassallo, Jason Yribar, Chekesha Van Putten, Tara Mouri, Giggi Yazicioglu, Sarah Christine Smith, Faune A. Chambers, Gabriel Paige, Jim Boensch, Ron Ulstad, Timothy Watters, Todd M. Schultz, Steve Wilkos, Michelle Sritenko Africano, Nathalie S. Bartleson, Janine M. Bekker, Khadija Cutcher, Mary Dettmer, Annie Henry, Tracy Gayeski, Tracy Long, Laurie Martin, Jill Savery, Margot Thien, Kimi Cochrun, Burt Bacharach, Elvis Costello, Will Ferrell, Woody Harrelson, Kristen Johnston, Charles Napier, Willie Nelson, Tim Robbins, Rebecca Romijn, Jerry Springer, Fred Willard, Jessica Anne Bogart, Robert Cohen, Colette Divine, Dan Gilman, Phil Hawn, Max Herholz, Tom Ivanjack, Tony Jay, Lana Kinnear, Harish Mandyam, Stephen A. Marinaccio II, Allie Moss, Bill O'Donnell, Jeanine Orci, Mitch Rouse, Lisa Varga, Andreanna Veith
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  • “- Felicity Shagwell: I want to see what happens in the 70s and 80s.
    - Austin: The 70s and the 80s? You're not missing anything, believe me. I've looked into it. There's a gas shortage and A Flock of Seagulls. That's about it.”

    Heather Graham - Felicity Shagwell
    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
    [Tag:musicians, past]
  • “- Felicity Shagwell: Austin Powers, I presume.
    - Austin: Powers by name, powers by reputation.
    - Felicity Shagwell: Felicity Shagwell, CIA. Shagwell by name, shag-very-well by reputation.
    - Austin: Oh, be-have.
    - Felicity Shagwell: Not if I can help it.”

    Heather Graham - Felicity Shagwell
    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
    [Tag:name, sex]
  • “I'd hoped Scott would look up to me, run the business of the family, head an evil empire just like his dear old dad, give him my love and the things I never had. Scott would think I was a cool guy, return the love I have, make me want to cry, be evil, but have my feelings too, change my life with Oprah and Maya Angelou. But Scott rejected me,...” (continue)(continue reading)
    Mike Myers - Dr. Evil
    [Tag:pride, rejection, son]
  • “- Robin Swallows: My name is Robin Swallows.
    - Austin: Swallows - that's an interesting name.
    - Robin Swallows: Maiden name's Spitz.
    - Austin: Which is it, baby, Spitz or Swallows?”

    Gia Carides - Robin Swallows
    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
    [Tag:name]
  • - Scott: If you've got a time machine, why don't you just go back and kill Austin Powers when he's sitting on the crapper or something?
    - Dr. Evil: How about... "no", Scott? Okay?

    Seth Green - Scott Evil
    Mike Myers - Dr. Evil
  • “You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough.”

    Mike Myers - Dr. Evil
    [Tag:evil]
  • “Of course I'm not happy! Look at me, I'm a big fat slob. I've got bigger titties than you do. I've got more chins than a Chinese phonebook. I've not seen my willie in two years, which is long enough to declare it legally dead. I can't stop eating. I eat because I'm unhappy, and I'm unhappy because I eat. It's a vicious cycle. Now, if you'll...” (continue)(continue reading)
    Mike Myers - Fat Bastard
  • Listen Missy, would you fancy another go? 'Cause once you've had fat, you never go back!”
    Mike Myers - Fat Bastard
    [Tag:obesity, sex]
  • “- Dr. Evil: As you know, every diabolical scheme I've hatched has been thwarted by Austin Powers. And why is that, ladies and gentlemen?
    - Scott: Because you never kill him when you get the chance, and you're a big dope?”

    Mike Myers - Dr. Evil
    Seth Green - Scott Evil
  • “- Austin: Cor! This coffee smells like shit!
    - Basil: It is shit, Austin.
    - Austin: Oh, good. Then it's not just me.
    - Austin: It's a bit nutty.”

    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
    Michael York - Basil Exposition
    [Tag:coffee, shit, stink]
  • - Dr. Evil: Mr. President, after I destroy Washington D.C. I will destroy another major city every hour on the hour. That is, unless, of course, you pay me one hundred billion dollars.
    - The President: Dr. Evil, this is 1969! That amount of money doesn't even exist. That's like saying, "I want a kajillion bajillion dollars".

    Mike Myers - Dr. Evil
    Tim Robbins - The President
    [Tag:blackmail, money]
  • “- Austin: Who sent you?
    - Mustafa: You have to kill me.
    - Austin: Who sent you?
    - Mustafa: Kiss my ass, Powers!
    - Austin: Who sent you?
    - Mustafa: Dr. Evil.
    - Felicity Shagwell: That was easy. Why did you tell us?
    - Mustafa: I can't stand to be asked the same question three times. It just irritates me.”

    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
    Will Ferrell - Mustafa
    Heather Graham - Felicity Shagwell
  • “- Dr. Evil: Any ways, the key to this plan is the giant laser. It was invented by the noted Cambridge physicist Dr. Parsons. Therefore, we shall call it the Alan Parsons Project.
    - Scott: Oh, my God.
    - Dr. Evil: What now?
    - Scott: The Alan Parsons Project is a progressive rock band in 1982. Why don't you just name it 'Operation Wang-Chung'?...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Mike Myers - Dr. Evil
    Seth Green - Scott Evil
    [Tag:musicians, name]
  • “- Rebecca Romijn: Austin Powers, I've heard a lot about you. I'm Rebecca Romijn. I don't believe I've had the pleasure.
    - Austin: Well, of course you haven't had the pleasure, Rebecca. We just met, baby, yeah.”

    Rebecca Romijn - Rebecca Romijn
    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
    [Tag:meeting, pleasure]
  • - Austin: Who are you, baby?
    - Ivana: Ivana. Ivana Humpalot.
    - Austin: Excuse me?
    - Ivana: Ivana Humpalot.
    - Austin: Well, I "vana" toilet made out of solid gold, but it's just not in the cards now is it?

    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
    Kristen Johnston - Ivana Humpalot
    [Tag:name, words]
  • “- Felicity Shagwell: Austin, tell me about the future.
    - Austin: Well, everyone has their own flying car, entire meals come in pill form, and the Earth is run by damn dirty apes.
    - Felicity Shagwell: Oh my God!”

    Heather Graham - Felicity Shagwell
    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
    [Tag:future, progress]
  • “From the moment I heard Frau say I had a clone, I knew that I'd be safe cuz I'd never be alone. An evil doctor shouldn't speak aloud about his feelings, my hurt and my pain don't make me too appealing.”

    Mike Myers - Dr. Evil
  • “Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, was frozen in 1967 and defrosted in the Nineties to battle his nemesis, Dr. Evil. After foiling his archenemy's plan to send a nuclear warhead to the center of the earth, Austin banished Dr. Evil to the cold recesses of space and settled down with his new wife, Vanessa, to live happily ever after. Or...” (continue)(continue reading)
    Tony Jay - Narrator
  • “- Ivana: Do you know how we keep warm in Russia?
    - Austin: I can guess, baby.
    - Ivana: We play chess.
    - Austin: I guessed wrong.”

    Kristen Johnston - Ivana Humpalot
    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
    [Tag:chess, heat, russians]
  • “- Vanessa Kensington: Do you smoke after sex?
    - Austin: I don't know, baby, I never looked.”

    Liz Hurley - Vanessa Kensington
    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
    [Tag:sex, smoking]
  • “- Austin: Well, how could you do it?
    - Felicity Shagwell: I was just doing my job.
    - Austin: No, I mean, literally, how could you do it? The man's so fat, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling.”

    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
    Heather Graham - Felicity Shagwell
    [Tag:obesity, sex]
  • “- Number Two: Why not use your knowledge of the future to play the stock markets? We could make trillions.
    - Dr. Evil: Why make a trillion when we could make... billions?
    - Scott: A trillion's more than a billion, numbnuts.”

    Robert Wagner - Number Two
    Mike Myers - Dr. Evil
    Seth Green - Scott Evil
    [Tag:money, numbers]
  • “- Felicity Shagwell: I thought you didn't like me!
    - Austin: Oh no, baby. You're very shagadelic. I just didn't want to fall in love again, and I thought you'd never love me without my mojo. It's not you. You're fab, you're switched on, you're a bit of alright!”

    Heather Graham - Felicity Shagwell
    Mike Myers - Austin Powers
  • “Hang on, Mini-Me! If anything should happen to you, I don't know what I would do. ...I'd probably move on, get another replica, but there would be a 10 minute period there where I would just be inconsolable.”

    Mike Myers - Dr. Evil
    [Tag:comfort, loss]
  • “You can look around all you want, but what you're really trying to find is on the inside. Take care of yourself, and each other.”
    Jerry Springer - Jerry Springer
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