“- Reuben Feffer: Whose party is this again?
- Sandy Lyle: It's an art opening for this Dutch guy, Jost. His art sucks, but he used to sell me really good pot.”
Ben Stiller - Reuben Feffer
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Sandy Lyle

“Yeah, Jenny, don't worry about me. We got cocaine and coffee here. We're gonna get wired and have a big party.”
Eddie Murphy - Axel Foley

“My name's Elliot, and I'm with the Cub Scouts of America. We're... we're selling uncut cocaine to get to the jamboree.”
Bronson Pinchot - Elliot Blitzer

“- Guy: Why do you do this to yourself? Don't even get paid, risk getting arrested, for what?
- Ernie: The Nod.
- Guy: The Nod?
- Ernie: Happens to me at least once every party. Some guy comes up to me and says thank you for making this happen, I needed this. This really meant something to me. And they nod and I nod back.”
Dmitri Ponce - Guy
Steve Van Wormer - Ernie

“- Guy Cipriani: No wedding!
- Connie Cipriani: We got 300 people coming here.
- Guy Cipriani: Good, they come here, they eat, they drink, they sing, they go the fuck home! Sorry!”
Paul Sorvino - Guy Cipriani
Veronica Cartwright - Connie Cipriani