“- Cho Osaki: I told you not to fight.
- Grandmother: Do not yell at him. He did no wrong.
- Cho Osaki: I did not bring him here to America to fight in the streets with fools.”

Shô Kosugi - Cho Osaki
Grace Oshita - Grandmother Osaki

“- Principal Mazur: Your son caused the entire student body to break into a riotous frenzy!
- Goofy: Riot? It couldn't be my...
- Principal Mazur: If I were you, Mr. Goof, I'd seriously re-evaluate the way you're raising your child before he ends up in the electric chair!”
Wallace Shawn - Principal Mazur
Bill Farmer - Goofy

“- Tobias 'Toby' Wolff: My application forms must've come today and he threw 'em away!
- Dwight Hansen: Hey, I thought I was helping him. Thought I save him some trouble, 'cause he got no chance of gettin' into some fancy prep school.”

Leonardo DiCaprio - Toby
Robert De Niro - Dwight

“I've got a drunk for a wife and a lunatic for a son.”

“- Mrs. Suzanna Dukesbury: We must have regard for certain conventions.
- J. Cheever Loophole: One guy isn't enough. She's gotta have a convention.”
Margaret Dumont - Mrs. Suzanna Dukesbury
Groucho Marx - J. Cheever Loophole