“I'm not a pistoleer or a knife-smith like that greaser Chavez Chavez over there. I'm a pugilist.”
Casey Siemaszko - Charles 'Charley' Bowdre

“- Bud: How are you gonna get home?
- Sissy: I got a thumb, I got a middle finger!”
John Travolta - Bud
Debra Winger - Sissy

“- Alex: That's quite a buffet you have there.
- Bea: Thank you, Mr. President.”

Allen Covert - Alex
Shirley Knight - Bea

“- Maria Sophia Coletta Ragetti: I've never seen wine that comes in a box before.
- Max Goldman: Pretty fancy huh? Look, it’s even got its own tap.”
Sophia Loren - Maria Sophia Coletta Ragetti
Walter Matthau - Max Goldman

“- Harry Blackitt: Look at them, bloody Catholics, filling the bloody world up with bloody people they can't afford to bloody feed.
- Mrs. Blackitt: What are we dear?
- Harry Blackitt: Protestant, and fiercely proud of it.”
Graham Arthur Chapman - Harry Blackitt
Eric Idle - Mrs. Blackitt