“- Oscar Madison: What's the matter, don't you look at a good ass anymore?
- Abe: I'm not allowed to look at Pastrami, why should I look at an ass?”
Walter Matthau - Oscar Madison
Lou Cutell - Abe

“Every curve in your body fulfills its promise. If the universe has any meaning, I'm looking at it.”
Sir Kenneth Branagh - Lee Simon

“He has a good heart, Sir. And... nice man-boobs.”
Kevin Sorbo - Captain

“Look, my wallet, it can't buy me no stocks and bonds; but, my hands, are Cadillac de Villes. My body is a Rolls Royce Corniche.”
Robert Beltran - Juan

“- Commander Kevin Dunne: I was three feet away from a known terrorist, and I had my eyes buried in some broad's tits.
- Rick Santoro: Well, Kevin, this may not make you feel better, but don't you see? That's what she was there for. That was the plan. To give you a boner. And you got one. Congratulations, you're human.”
Gary Sinise - Commander Kevin Dunne
Nicolas Cage - Rick Santoro