“The Odd Couple II” quotes(1998)
Plot – Felix Unger and Oscar Madison are two funny friends, both different from each other. After their divorces, they are forced to share the same apartment. Many years later, Felix and Oscar travel together but, as always, they constantly quarrel.
All actors – Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, Richard Riehle, Jonathan Silverman, Lisa Waltz, Mary Beth Peil, Christine Baranski, Jean Smart, Rex Linn, Jay O. Sanders, Barnard Hughes, Ellen Geershow all
“The Odd Couple II” Quotes 29 quotes
“- Felix Ungar: How long was I asleep?
- Oscar Madison: I don't know. I didn't know you wanted me to time it.”
“- Oscar Madison: I think I figured out where we are.
- Felix Ungar: Where?
- Oscar Madison: In a Clint Eastwood movie.”
“- Oscar Madison: OK, Felix, make out a timetable: when you're gonna eat, when you're gonna pee, when you're gonna fart, when you're gonna cry, and when you're gonna sleep, because that's the last time I'm pulling off the freeway, ya hear?
- Felix Ungar: Oh, and I suppose you never have to pee, huh?
- Oscar Madison: I do it for a half hour in the...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Oscar Madison: What's the matter, don't you look at a good ass anymore?
- Abe: I'm not allowed to look at Pastrami, why should I look at an ass?”
“Never count me out until the fat lady divorces me!”
“- Thelma: You know, Oscar, if I didn't know better, I'd say a nice old grandfather like you was trying to hit on a couple of ladies.
- Oscar Madison: I'm not as old as I look. I had this plastic surgery done recently, and the quack doctor botched it up.
- Holly: Your friend doesn't say much, does he?
- Oscar Madison: He's the doctor who botched...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Your hair got whiter, your ears got bigger, your nose got longer, but you still retain that unique, elusive pain in the ass quality that drives me berserk.”
“- Felix Ungar: What do the directions say?
- Oscar Madison: They're gone, I threw them out the window.
- Felix Ungar: Oh, you threw them out the window... you threw them out the window? What the hell made you do a stupid thing like that?
- Oscar Madison: Well, I had them on my lap so I could read them. I lit my cigar, the hot ashes fell on my...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Blanche, would you stop pointing your finger at me and yelling. You got two other husbands here to do that with.”
“- Oscar Madison: There are faster ways of delivery now. FedEx, UPS, fax...
- Felix Ungar: Oh, you're gonna fax me my suitcase?”
“Nothing has changed, Felix. I'm still a pig, you're still a human vacuum cleaner.”
“- Brucey Madison: Mom was married three times. You were married one time, and then never again for thirty years. Hers were too many, yours were not enough. So, tell me, what is wrong with it? What is it about marriage that frightens everybody so much?
- Oscar Madison: I don't know, Brucey. It's like baseball, either you can play or you can't...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Wanda: He's like my third husband, he should rest in peace.
- Oscar Madison: How do you know he's dead? Maybe he's just bluffing.”
“- Felix Ungar: Look, we have to have a plan, agreed?
- Oscar Madison: Agreed.
- Felix Ungar: Okay. What do you think the plan should be?
- Oscar Madison: I don't care. I agreed. I did my part.”