“- Janine: Oh, my God. I want that so bad. A husband that I can kiss and love and give juice too.
- Michael Newman: You've already cheated on three different husbands with their brothers. I think you've given enough juice to everybody. Love juice.”
Jennifer Coolidge - Janine
Adam Sandler - Michael Newman

“Is it possible a man blinded by love might not see treachery right in front of him?”
Rufus Sewell - Marke

“- Reverend Mike: He loved his booze. He loved his women.
- Mourners: He loved my wife, too! Yes, he did! Sure did!”

Sherman Hemsley - Reverend Mike

“There's nothing wrong with Ellen. It's just that she loves too much.”
Mary Philips - Mrs. Berent

“Germany broadcasting. People of Britain, greetings from the Third Reich. This is the voice you have learned to fear. This is the Voice of Terror.”
Edgar Barrier - Voice of Terror