“Every Navy man with scrambled egg on his chest wants to offload us here and sail to Japan so they can be there for the big finish, tell their kids they captured the Emperor all by themselves.”
Gordon Clapp - General "Howlin' Mad" Smith

“Hello, I'm Tom Hanks. The US Government has lost its credibility so it's borrowing some of mine.”
Tom Hanks - Himself

“- Joseph Turner White: What's an associate producer credit?
- Bill Smith: It's what you give to your secretary instead of a raise.”
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Joseph Turner White
Lionel Mark Smith - Bill Smith

“Taking credit when things go right doesn't work the other way.”
Nicolas Cage - Frank Pierce

“Did I ever tell you about the time I invented snowboarding? I don't want credit for it, but they just keep giving it to me.”
David Koechner - Stumpy