“- Bus Driver: That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace, I know from experience dude. If you know what I mean.
- Billy Madison: No, you don't.
- Bus Driver: Well, not me personally but a guy I know. Him and her got it on. Wooo-eee!
- Billy Madison: No, they didn't.”
Chris Farley - Bus Driver
Adam Sandler - Billy Madison

“- Lt. Topper Harley: So... I guess you've been with a man before...
- Ramada Thompson: I'm a virgin. I'm just not very good at it.”
Charlie Sheen - Lt. Topper Harley
Valeria Golino - Ramada Thompson

“- Jim Levenstein: Nadia will be expecting filet mignon, okay, and all I'm going to be able to give her is rump roast.
- Oz: What are you so worried about? You've had experience since Nadia.
- Jim Levenstein: Ah, yes. You would be referring to the flute fetish band geek, who made me her bitch, and ditched me after prom.”
Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
Chris Klein - Oz

“I’m like a sexual snowflake. Each night with me is a unique experience”
Max Greenfield - Schmidt

“Personally I know nothing about sex, because I've always been married.”
Zsa Zsa Gabor