“American Pie 2” quotes

(2001)
Movie American Pie 2
Title American Pie 2
Year 2001
Director J.B. Rogers
Genre Comedy, Romance
Plot – Twelve months have passed and Jim, Finch, Stifler, Oz and Kevin - with their friends and girlfriends - are enjoying their summer holidays after the first year of college, that wasn’t full of delirious sexual experiences as it was predicted. On the contrary, it was quite a dull period with Oz engaged to Heather, Finch practicing the mantra hoping for a second meeting with Stifler’s mother and Jim getting caught with the conquest of the last day of college by his father, inopportune and complicit as always.
All actors – Jason Biggs, Shannon Elizabeth, Alyson Hannigan, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Natasha Lyonne, Tara Reid, Seann William Scott, Mena Suvari, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Chris Owen, Eugene Levy, Molly Cheek, Denise Faye, Lisa Arturo, John Cho, Justin Isfeld, Eli Marienthal, Casey Affleck, George Wyner, Steven Shenbaum, Matthew Peters, Joelle Carter, Matthew Frauman, Larry Drake, Lee Garlington, Tsianina Joelson, Bree Turner, Lacey Beeman, Lisa Gould, Brian Lester, Nigel Gibbs, Ernie Lively, Kevin Cooney, Marilyn Brett, Morgan Nagler, Jack Wallace, Jesse Heiman, JoAnna Garcia Swisher, Serah D'Laine, Nora Zehetner, David Smigelski, Luke Edwards, Adam Brody, Amanda Armato, Nancy Stone, Kevin Kilner, Cole Petersen, Paityn James, Brian Turk, Mike Erwin, Robert Peters, Amara Balthrop-Lewis, Jay Rossi, Joseph D. Reitman, Adam Herz, J.B. Rogers, Brett Shuttleworth, Amanda Wilmshurst, Devon Davidson, Daniel Spink, Tamia Richmond, Rachel Blasko, Laurie Reeves, Derrick Harper, Kelley Schneider, , Dan Andreiu, Hallie Bird, Nicole Brunner, Christina Cindrich, Don 'Tex' Clark, Curt Clendenin, Jennifer Coolidge, April Florio, Marc S. Gordon, Victoria Gray, Phil Hawn, Enrique Hernandez, Matt Hobbie, Meagan Lopez, Sandra Luesse, Tara Rice, Marco Sanchez, Elaine Szupello, Jason Tatum, Tadpole Triplett, Clyde Tull, Robert Warnack, Bryan Watkins, Steven Paul Zsenyuk
show all
  • “- Stifler: You're a disgrace to men everywhere. I mean, look at the Stifmeister. I got laid 23 times this year, and I'm not counting the hummer I got in the library stacks, baby.
    - Oz: Here's a new idea for you Stifler. You find a girl, you two become best friends and you don't bother counting how many times you have sex with each other, you...” (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Seann William Scott - Stifler
    Chris Klein - Oz
  • “- Michelle Flaherty: Okay, pretend I'm a hot girl. Now what do you want to do?
    - Jim Levenstein: I want to feel your boobs.
    - Michelle Flaherty: No, you dingbat. You don't just go groping away. You gotta pre-heat the oven before you stick in the turkey.”

    Alyson Hannigan - Michelle Flaherty
    Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
    [Tag:breast, metaphors]
  • “No matter what, times change, things are different. But the problem is, I don't want them to be.”
    Thomas Ian Nicholas - Kevin Myers
    [Tag:changing]
  • “- Jim Levenstein: Okay, guys, we went through this last summer, all right? Finch got a black eye and Stifler got six stitches.
    - Stifler: Cause he fuckin' bit me!
    - Finch: You touch me, I bite.”

    Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
    Seann William Scott - Stifler
    Eddie Kaye Thomas - Finch
    [Tag:fighting, wound]
  • “- Jim Levenstein: What are you doing here?
    - Stifler's Brother: Pussy, man. I'm here for the pussy.
    - Jim Levenstein: Take a number.”

    Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
    Eli Marienthal - Stifler's Brother
    [Tag:sex, waiting]
  • “- Jim Levenstein: Amazing.
    - Stifler: Yes, the force is strong in that one.”

    Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
    Seann William Scott - Stifler
  • “- Finch: I am not touching that!
    - Jim Levenstein: Put that thing away, Stifler.
    - Stifler: What's wrong with you guys? We almost had them. Why can't you guys be team players, huh? I was the one doing all the sacrificing.”

    Eddie Kaye Thomas - Finch
    Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
    Seann William Scott - Stifler
  • “- Chuck Sherman: [a few minutes into the conversation] I am the Sherminator, a sophisticated Sex Robot sent through time to change the future for one lucky lady.
    - Nadia: And I am lucky lady?
    - Chuck Sherman: Nadia, you've been targeted for Shermination. Come with me if you want to live.”

    Chris Owen - Chuck Sherman
    Shannon Elizabeth - Nadia
    [Tag:future, robot, wooing]
  • “Guests bring food. Food attracts animals. This one time, a bear came. And then the bear had to be destroyed. Which means they shot it in the head with a rifle, and killed it, and it died.”
    Matthew Peters - Trumpet Kid
    [Tag:animals, food, killing]
  • “- Michelle Flaherty: Good Jim. Oh, you're making me wet.
    - Jim Levenstein: Holy shit, really?
    - Michelle Flaherty: No, I was just saying that so you could practice.
    - Jim Levenstein: 'course.”

    Alyson Hannigan - Michelle Flaherty
    Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
  • “- Jim Levenstein: Nadia will be expecting filet mignon, okay, and all I'm going to be able to give her is rump roast.
    - Oz: What are you so worried about? You've had experience since Nadia.
    - Jim Levenstein: Ah, yes. You would be referring to the flute fetish band geek, who made me her bitch, and ditched me after prom.”

    Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
    Chris Klein - Oz
    [Tag:experience, sex]
  • - Jim Levenstein: Was I any good that night?
    - Michelle Flaherty: Jeez how could I forget? You sucked. You didn't know what the hell you were doing. But wasn't it fun even though you were so terrible?
    - Jim Levenstein: I'm sorry, "terrible"?
    - Michelle Flaherty: I've had worse.
    - Jim Levenstein: Oh.
    - Michelle Flaherty: Oh, sorry. I just...... (continue)
    (continue reading)
    Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
    Alyson Hannigan - Michelle Flaherty
  • “- Jessica: If a guy tells you how many girls he's hooked up with, it's not even close to that. You take that number and divide it by three, then you get the real total. Ok, so if Kevin is saying it's been three girls it's more like one or none.
    - Vicky: None?
    - Jessica: The rule of three. It's an exact science. Consistent as gravity.”

    Natasha Lyonne - Jessica
    Tara Reid - Vicky
    [Tag:numbers, rules, sex]
  • “- Jim's Dad: You may be Jimbo, or Jumbo, or Jimbodini to those guys in there, but there are still two people who haven't forgotten where James Emmanuel Levenstein came from. We're awful proud of you son.
    - Jim Levenstein: Thanks, Dad.
    - Jim's Dad: Don't forget your penis cream.”

    Eugene Levy - Jim's Dad
    Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
  • “- Stifler: How many girls did you sleep with this year?
    - Jessica: Wouldn't you like to know.
    - Stifler: Fuck yeah I would.”

    Seann William Scott - Stifler
    Natasha Lyonne - Jessica
  • “When a girl tells you how many guys she's slept with, multiply it by three and that's the real number. Didn't you fuckers learn anything in college?”
    Seann William Scott - Stifler
    [Tag:girl, sex, university]
  • “- Michelle Flaherty: Now don't freak out, I'm gonna do something to push your threshold.
    - Jim Levenstein: Ow that's cold. What is that?
    - Michelle Flaherty: I just shoved a trumpet in your ass. Aren't instruments fun?”

    Alyson Hannigan - Michelle Flaherty
    Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein
    [Tag:music]
Highlights