Charlie Sheen quotes
“- Charlie Sheen: Do me a favor. Promise me you won't drive.
- Lindsay Lohan: That's sweet. You're worried about me driving.
- Charlie Sheen: I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian.”
“- Lt. Topper Harley: So... I guess you've been with a man before...
- Ramada Thompson: I'm a virgin. I'm just not very good at it.”
“- David Ackerman: Do you think I like dragging around after you all day? I fucking hate it! And I hate the way you drive. And I hate your stinking whiskey breath.
- Nick Pulovski: And I hate your uptight regulation-spouting boy scout horseshit. And I hate the little fucking creases in your pants. And I hate these fucking donuts. These fruitcake...” (continue)(continue reading)
Somebody once wrote, "Hell is the impossibility of reason". That's what this place feels like. Hell.
“- Bud Fox: So tell me, Gordon: when does it all end, huh? How many yachts can you water-ski behind? How much is enough?
- Gordon Gekko: It's not a question of enough, pal. It's a zero-sum game: somebody wins, somebody loses. Money itself isn't lost or made, it's simply, uh, transferred from one perception to another. Like magic.”
“I think now, looking back, we did not fight the enemy; we fought ourselves. And the enemy was in us.”
“Having sex with her was like reading the Wall St. Journal.”
Alan Harper-Wait a minute, you don't consider me a friend?
Charlie Harper-It's not up to me. A friend is someone you choose, a brother is someone you get...
Alan Harper-Excuse me?
Charlie Harper-There's no choice involved! Your dad just wakes you up in the middle of the night and says, "Your mom wasn't really fat and this isn't your room anymore."
“Alan Harper-Looks like you had a tough night.
Charlie Harper-No, the night was great. It's the morning that's killing me!
“Dr.Linda Freeman-Have you ever been in therapy before?
Charlie Harper-Does massage therapy count?
“Alan Harper-Money doesn't just fall from the sky.
Charlie Harper-Obviously you've never been sitting ringside when a pole dancer hangs upside down.
“Cynthia Sullivan-Hi, Jake, look how big you're getting.
Jake Harper-It's called puberty.
Charlie Harper-It's called donuts.
“Alan Harper-Haven't you read the package?
Charlie Harper-Who reads the package? It's not like a cereal box.