Charlie Sheen movie quotes

“- Lt. Topper Harley: So... I guess you've been with a man before...
- Ramada Thompson: I'm a virgin. I'm just not very good at it.”
Charlie Sheen - Lt. Topper Harley
Valeria Golino - Ramada Thompson

- Bud Fox: Did mom give you fish for dinner?
- Carl Fox: Spaghetti! Your mother still makes lousy spaghetti.
- Bud Fox: It's called "pasta" now, dad. "Spaghetti" is out of date.
- Carl Fox: So am I.
Charlie Sheen - Bud Fox
Martin Sheen - Carl Fox

“Having sex with her was like reading the Wall St. Journal.”

Charlie Sheen - Bud Fox

“- Lt. Topper Harley: There's something I want you to have. I've been putting a little away for the past ten years. It's not much. 2500. I wish I could do more.
- Mary Thompson: Why, Topper. That's so sweet. Why, with the three million that I won on this Lucky Lotto ticket, I can take this 2500 and just blow it all on hats.”
Charlie Sheen - Lt. Topper Harley
Heidi Swedberg - Mary Thompson

“What's your point? There's always something that gives me false hope? That I'm wasting my life?”

Charlie Sheen - Zane Zaminsky

“- Richard 'Dick' Brewer: We've got a warrant for you, old man.
- Buckshot Roberts: I ain't got no business with that warrant no more, pecker head son of a bitch.”
Charlie Sheen - Richard 'Dick' Brewer
Brian Keith - Buckshot Roberts

“- D'Artagnan: Why's Athos sitting by himself?
- Aramis: He takes his drinking very seriously. Not to worry; he'll be his usual charming self by morning.”
Chris O'Donnell - D'Artagnan
Charlie Sheen - Aramis

“You wear too much eye makeup. My sister wears too much. People think she's a whore.”
Charlie Sheen - Boy in Police Station

“- Ramada Thompson: You were discharged from the service 18 months ago for willful insubordination. You disobeyed a direct order and lost a $13 million fighter in the process.
- Lt. Topper Harley: Yes, I did. But I'm paying it off at ten bucks a week. And I wouldn't be doing that if I'd gotten that extra collision coverage.”
Valeria Golino - Ramada Thompson
Charlie Sheen - Lt. Topper Harley

“- Willie Mays Hayes: What the hell league you been playing in?
- Rick Vaughn: California Penal...
- Willie Mays Hayes: Never heard of it. How'd you end up playing there?
- Rick Vaughn: Stole a car.”

Wesley Snipes - Willie Mays Hayes
Charlie Sheen - Rick Vaughn

“- George: I have a dream.
- Tom: What is your dream?
- George: To have a dream.”
Simon Rex - George
Charlie Sheen - Tom

“I was twenty-one and Platoon had just won Best Picture and grossed $100 million. Suddenly you're not paying for meals or drinks. You don't drive any more. You get success. The more money you make, the less people want you to spend. It's very bizarre.”
Charlie Sheen

“- Natalie Voss: You kidnapped me with a candy bar?
- Jack Hammond: It makes a handy weapon in a pinch.”
Kristy Swanson - Natalie Voss
Charlie Sheen - Jack Hammond

“- Rube Baker: Hey. Ya know Ricky, breaking up with a girlfriend can be a very painful thing. But it don't have to keep ya down for long. I mean, let me tell ya something from my own personal experience. I've never had a regular girlfriend like you, but I did get kicked in the balls once by a mule. Now, I thought I would be hurting for the rest...” (continue) (continue reading)
Eric Bruskotter - Rube Baker
Charlie Sheen - Rick 'Wild Thing' Vaughn

“- Chris: I volunteered. I dropped out of college, and told them I wanted the infantry, combat, and Vietnam.
- Crawford: You volunteered for this shit, man?
- Chris: You believe that?
- King: You's a crazy fucker, giving up college.
- Chris: It didn't make much sense. I wasn't learning anything.”
Charlie Sheen - Chris
Chris Pedersen - Crawford
Keith David - King

“I'm going to blow that shit you call brains all over my partner here.”
Charlie Sheen - David Ackerman

“Here's a tip: if you ever get the chance to travel with a Mexican rodeo... pass.”

Charlie Sheen - Zane Zaminsky

“- Porthos: Athos, you cannot fight this boy.
- Athos: Why not?
- Porthos: I'm fighting him.
- D'Artagnan: Not until 1 o'clock.
- Aramis: I have a duel with him too.
- D'Artagnan: Not until 2 o'clock.”
Oliver Platt - Porthos
Kiefer Sutherland - Athos
Chris O'Donnell - D'Artagnan
Charlie Sheen - Aramis

“- Pilot: Lieutenant, you guys are incredible. Thank you.
- Lt. James Curran: There's no reason to thank us because we don't exist. You never saw us. This never happened.
- Lt. Dale Hawkins: One more thing: you're welcome.”
Michael Biehn - Lt. James Curran
Charlie Sheen - Lt. Dale Hawkins

“- Lt. Topper Harley: I could never find time for love. It's too heavy. It's an anchor that drowns a man. Besides, I got the sky, the smell of jet exhaust, my bike.
- Pete 'Dead Meat' Thompson: A loner?
- Lt. Topper Harley: No. I own it.”
Charlie Sheen - Lt. Topper Harley
William O'Leary - Pete 'Dead Meat' Thompson

“She's out of my bed, but still in my head.”

Charlie Sheen - Zane Zaminsky

- Chris Morrow: I'd be stupid to trust my life to a walking penis.
- Richard "Ditch" Brodie: I'm much more than a walking penis, I'm a flying penis!
Nastassja Kinski - Chris Morrow
Charlie Sheen - Richard "Ditch" Brodie

“- Charlie Sheen: Do me a favor. Promise me you won't drive.
- Lindsay Lohan: That's sweet. You're worried about me driving.
- Charlie Sheen: I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian.”
Charlie Sheen - Himself
Lindsay Lohan - Herself

“- Porthos: You, boy, are arrogant, hot tempered and entirely too bold. I like that. Reminds me of me.
- Aramis: Don't encourage him. By helping us the boy has made himself an outlaw as well.”

Oliver Platt - Porthos
Charlie Sheen - Aramis

“- Bo Richards: What a screwy job.
- Roy Alston: Our jobs are better.
- Bo Richards: What, the factory?
- Roy Alston: No, our jobs as fashion designers.
- Bo Richards: Quit complaining. It's a good job. Manufacturing. It's American!”
Charlie Sheen - Bo Richards
Maxwell Caulfield - Roy Alston