“- Chip Hendrix: What Carl Jung was trying to say is that trapped inside of each of us, there is a woman that comes out when we fuck up real bad.
- Carl Clapton: You mean, there's a woman trapped inside of me?
- Chip Hendrix: Yeah.
- Carl Clapton: A black woman or a white woman?
- Chip Hendrix: A Jewish woman.”
Barry Diamond - Chip Hendrix
Art Evans - Carl Clapton

“You know why Jewish girls don't get AIDS? They only marry assholes, they don't screw 'em!”
Bob Eubanks - Himself

“- Garbitsch: Brunettes are trouble makers. They're worse than the Jews.
- Hynkel - Dictator of Tomania: Then wipe them out.
- Garbitsch: Start small. Not so fast. We get rid of the Jews first, then concentrate on the brunettes.”
Henry Daniell - Garbitsch
Sir Charlie Chaplin - Hynkel - Dictator of Tomania

“- Garbitsch: We've had to make a few arrests.
- Hynkel - Dictator of Tomania: A few? How many?
- Garbitsch: Nothing astronomical. Five or ten thousand... a day.”
Henry Daniell - Garbitsch
Sir Charlie Chaplin - Hynkel - Dictator of Tomania

“- Jay: He had an uncle in Poland who died. We can say he left the money to Pop in his will.
- Arty: Jay, do you think the Germans would let some Jew in Poland send $9,000 to some Jew in Alabama?”

Brad Stoll - Jay
Mike Damus - Arty