“- Kevin Dolenz: How come you never ask me if I want a date?
- Naomi: I thought you were gay!”
Andrew McCarthy - Kevin Dolenz
Anna Maria Horsford - Naomi

“- Emily Montgomery: Are you really gay?
- Howard Brackett: Hmm-hmm...
- Emily Montgomery: Was there... any other time you might've told me this? I'm wearing a wedding dress, which you picked out!”
Joan Cusack - Emily Montgomery
Kevin Kline - Howard Brackett

“Howard, we want you to know: you're our son, and we'll always love you, gay, straight, red, green, if you rob a bank, if you kill someone.”

Debbie Reynolds - Berniece Brackett

“- Howard Brackett: He's just never had a physical relationship with her.
- Father Tim: Never? In three years?
- Howard Brackett: He respects her.
- Father Tim: He's gay!”

Kevin Kline - Howard Brackett
Joseph Maher - Father Tim

“- Jack: There's only two times when that kind of thing's okay: in prison where it's a substitute and guys in space.
- Mike: Guys in space?
- Jack: Well, not on purpose. They just float into each other.”

Shawn Hatosy - Jack
Zak Orth - Mike