Kevin Kline movie quotes

“- Artemus Gordon: My auxiliary tool kit, I forgot all about it. It must have fallen out of my pocket.
- James West: Your pocket? Why wasn't it on some spring-loaded contraption that shoots out your ass?
- Artemus Gordon: That's the first place Loveless would have looked.”
Kevin Kline - Artemus Gordon
Will Smith - James West

“I'm a horrible person. You have every right to hate me. You should hate me. I want you to hate me! I insist that you hate me! I'm scum, I'm garbage, I'm vermin, and I'm sorry.”
Kevin Kline - Howard Brackett

- Tulio: Miguel, you're talking to a horse!
- Miguel: Yes, that's it Altivo. Find the pry bar!
- Tulio: Yes, "find the pry bar". He doesn't understand "pry bar"! He's a dumb horse, there's no way he could understand.
Kevin Kline - Tulio
Sir Kenneth Branagh - Miguel

- Jeffrey Anderson: Come on, say it! "I want you, Jeffery. I'm consumed with jealousy for my neice, because I want you".
- Celeste Talbert: Oh, please!
- Jeffrey Anderson: Admit it, you have feelings for me.
- Celeste Talbert: My feelings are about you, not for you. There's a big difference!
Kevin Kline - Jeffrey Anderson
Sally Field - Celeste Talbert

“I want you to be happy and you're not. Not here with me, not home with your mother, not alone, not anywhere. You're what I was most of my life, Sam. I see it in your eyes, in your sleep, in your answer to everything! You're barely alive!”

Kevin Kline - George Monroe

“What do you think, the plane is going to crash and we are all on the ground in a thousand pieces dead? I promise you, if it happens, you won't feel a thing.”
Kevin Kline - Luc Teyssier

“- Joseph: This is - this is a difficult time for you; for both of us. And especially for a woman, there are physical changes that affect everything.
- Beth: Oh, tell me about being a woman.
- Joseph: I think that the anger you're feeling is not about me. It's hormonal.
- Beth: No. It's not menopause. It actually is about you.”
Kevin Kline - Joseph
Diane Keaton - Beth

“- Edwin Stanton: When you first learned that our secretary of State has been butchered to within an inch of his life, and that they put a bullet in the back of our president's head, when this city was in chaos, do you not wish to see order restored and justice served, or were you just concerned with the rights of the assassins?
- Frederick Aiken...” (continue) (continue reading)
Kevin Kline - Edwin Stanton
James McAvoy - Frederick Aiken

“- Carmen: When I realized Django was my spirit-mate, the animal world became so visible to me.
- Joseph: As opposed to the vegetable and mineral worlds?”

Ayelet Zurer - Carmen
Kevin Kline - Joseph

“- Mack: We were planning to take my boy.
- Simon: How old is he?
- Mack: 15.
- Simon: 15? Probably won't wanna go with you now. Probably go with his friends and his chick now. You've missed that boat.”

Kevin Kline - Mack
Danny Glover - Simon

“I forgot that I was hired to do a job for you and that it was just a temp job at that. I forgot that I had two hundred and fifty million people who were paying me to make their lives a little better and I didn't live up to my part of the bargain.”
Kevin Kline - Bill Mitchell

“When somebody shoot you in the head it make you think.”
Kevin Kline - Joey

“The eye of man hath not heard, the ear of man hath not seen; man's hand is not able to taste, his tongue to conceive, nor his heart to report what my dream was.”
Kevin Kline - Nick Bottom

“- Kate: Did you know that there are four hundred and fifty-two official government cheeses in this country? Don't you think that's incredible? To come up with four hundred and fifty-two ways of classifying what is basically a bacterial process?
- Luc Teyssier: You would prefer one cheese? One cheeseburger to put it on and one restaurant to eat...” (continue) (continue reading)

Meg Ryan - Kate
Kevin Kline - Luc Teyssier

- Artemus Gordon: She's a breath of fresh ass.
- James West: Pardon me?
- Artemus Gordon: What?
- James West: You said "ass".
- Artemus Gordon: No, I didn't. I said "It's nice having her on board, she's a breast of fresh air".
- James West: Let's just get some shut ass.

Kevin Kline - Artemus Gordon
Will Smith - James West

“I will give you the honor of a quick and painless death.”
Kevin Kline - Tulio

“- Miguel: I am Miguel.
- Tulio: And I am Tulio.
- Miguel: And they call us Miguel and Tulio!”
Sir Kenneth Branagh - Miguel
Kevin Kline - Tulio

“Why is it that when someone's successful in one field, they think they know about everything?”

Kevin Kline - Mack

“- Janey Carver: You're boring me. I have a husband. I don't particularly feel the need for another.
- Ben Hood: You have a point there. That's a very good point. We're having an affair. Right. An explicitly sexual relationship. Your needs, my needs. You're absolutely right.”
Sigourney Weaver - Janey Carver
Kevin Kline - Ben Hood

“- Cavalry Sergeant: How do I know this is your horse?
- Paden: Can't you see this horse loves me?
- Cavalry Sergeant: I had a gal do that to me. It didn't make her my wife.”

Sheb Wooley - Cavalry Sergeant
Kevin Kline - Paden

“It's crazy, but whenever something spectacular happens to me, the first thing I want to do is tell my wife about it. And, after 40 years of marriage, if I can't tell her about something wonderful that happened to me, it sort of stops being wonderful.”
Kevin Kline - Sam Harris

“I put a gun to my father's head once. Ever think like that? He was passed out. Had just been yelling at my mom over nothing. Under-cooked meat. I went to my room, I held the barrel right up to his ear, and then I chickened out again. Of course it was a BB gun but still it would have hurt like hell.”
Kevin Kline - George Monroe

“- Patient: This is the best my back has felt in three years. Joseph, you're a genius.
- Joseph: That's my job. I'm a surgeon. But I'm no genius.”
Paul Kiernan - Patient
Kevin Kline - Joseph

“- Phoebus: Why is it, whenever we meet, I end up bleeding?
- Esmeralda: You're lucky. That arrow almost pierced your heart.
- Phoebus: I'm not so sure it didn't.”
Kevin Kline - Phoebus
Demi Moore - Esmeralda

“- James West: Artie, that's a cliff!
- Artemus Gordon: Yes, I know!
- James West: That means the ground is gonna end!
- Artemus Gordon: Yes, I know!”

Will Smith - James West
Kevin Kline - Artemus Gordon