“She do hair, baby sit and sell dope out the same house: police don't know when to kick the door in.”
Mike Epps - Day-Day

“I want you to see if this sounds familiar: any time you try a decent crime, you got fifty ways you're gonna fuck up. If you think of twenty-five of them, then you're a genius... and you ain't no genius.”

Mickey Rourke - Teddy Lewis

“To have a brain, it's not a sin. To have a brain and not use it, that is a sin.”
Armin Mueller-Stahl - Doc

“- President Camacho: Now I understand everyone's shit's emotional right now. But I've got a 3 point plan that's going to fix everything.
- Congressman: Break it down, Camacho!
- President Camacho: Number 1: We've got this guy Not Sure. Number 2: He's got a higher IQ than any man alive. And number 3: He's going to fix everything.”
Terry Crews - President Camacho
Christopher M. Campos - Congressman

“- Rita: You think Einstein walked around thinkin' everyone was a bunch of dumb shits?
- Joe Bowers: Yeah. Hadn't thought of that.
- Rita: Now you know why he built that bomb.”
Maya Rudolph - Rita
Luke Wilson - Joe Bauers