“- Doctor: It was smart of you to tell him you were pregnant.
- Debbie: Yeah, most men run when they hear that.”
Joe Inscoe - Doctor

“Let me explain something to you about the world. I've seen it. And if you think that once you leave men get smarter, they don't.”
Erika Eleniak - Stephanie Potts

“- Jeff: Why would a man leave his apartment three times on a rainy night with a suitcase and come back three times?
- Lisa: He likes the way his wife welcomes him home.”
James Stewart - L.B. 'Jeff' Jefferies
Grace Kelly - Lisa Carol Fremont

“Women, always leaving you after you've had the crap kicked out of you.”
Jason Lee - Brodie

“- Ray Castro: Why are hurricanes named after women?
- Montel Gordon: I don't know.
- Ray Castro: Because when they arrive, they're wet and wild, and when they leave they take your house and your car.”
Luis Guzmán - Ray Castro
Don Cheadle - Montel Gordon