Plot – Gil Buckman, an American businessman, tries to be the perfect father for his three children: Kevin, Taylor and Justin. His family is big but the members are very close. In addition to his old father Frank, to his mother and to his sprightly grandmother, Gil has to deal with his three brothers, Larry, Susan and Helen. Helen, abandoned by her husband, is raising alone two teenagers, while Susan is married to Nathan and Larry is Frank's favourite one, even if he has grown as an irresponsible slacker.
All actors – Steve Martin, Mary Steenburgen, Dianne Wiest, Jason Robards, Rick Moranis, Tom Hulce, Martha Plimpton, Keanu Reeves, Harley Jane Kozak, Dennis Dugan, Joaquin Phoenix, Eileen Ryanshow all
“Parenthood” Quotes 29 quotes
“- Tod: Um, a few months ago, Garry got his first... boner. You know what that is?
- Helen: If memory serves.
- Tod: Aw, great! Anyway, since then, he's been... uh... slappin' the salami. No offense.
- Helen: No.
- Tod: Apparently, he's goin' for a world record. Anyway, he was afraid there was something wrong with him, you know? Like he was a...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Grandma: You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.
- Gil: Oh?
- Grandma: Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!
- Gil: What a great story.
- Grandma: I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Julie: He said that he loved me.
- Helen: Men say that. They all say that. Then they cum.”
“Our children are more capable of retaining and absorbing information than we are and yet we insist on treating them like adorable little morons.”
“- Tod: Hi. Where's my wife?
- Helen: She's still at school. She's got cheerleading practice.
- Tod: Bitchin'.”
“Do you know why I'm having sex with machinery? Because your father went to have a party and I stayed to raise two kids, and I have no life!”
“- Frank: You know, when you were two years old, we thought you had polio. Did you know that?
- Gil: Yeah, Mom said... something about it a couple of years ago.
- Frank: Yeah, well, for a week we didn't know. I hated you for that. I did. I hated having to care, having to go through the pain, the hurt, the suffering. It's not for me.”
“When I was 9 years old, I had kind of a rough time. A lot of people thought I was pretty mixed up. But there was one person who got me through it. He did everything right. And thanks to him today, well I'm the happiest, most confident and most well-adjusted person in this world. Dad, I love you. You're the greatest!”
“What is it with all the women in this family, that makes all the men in this family wanna leave?”
“I wouldn't live with you if the world were flooded with piss and you lived in a tree!”
“Keep Patty away from Larry - suck the intelligence right out of her.”
- Karen: Do you really have to go?
- Gil: My whole life is "have to".
“- Helen: You did these things right here? In my house?
- Julie: Well, I thought someone in this house ought to be having sex. I mean with something that doesn't require batteries.”
“- Marilyn: Cool is adorable. Adorable! Why didn't you write us when you had a son?
- Larry: I didn't know myself until a couple of months ago. You see, a few years ago, I was living in Vegas with this girl. Showgirl. She was in that show 'Elvis On Ice'. Anyhow, we drifted apart, as people do in these complicated times, and then a couple of...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Helen: Tod?
- Tod: Yeah?
- Helen: Do you want me to make you breakfast?
- Tod: No thanks, Julie will.
- Helen: Great. I'll get the fire extinguisher.”
I had a man around. He used to wake me up every morning by flicking lit cigarettes at my head. He'd say, "Hey, asshole, get up and make me breakfast". You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, or drive a car. Hell, you need a license to catch a fish! But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.
“- George Bowman: You're going to be a grandma?
- Helen: No, no, no, no. I'm too young to be a grandmother. Grandmothers are old. They bake, and they sew, and they tell you stories about the Depression. I was at Woodstock, for Christ's sake! I peed in a field! I hung on to The Who's helicopter as it flew away!”
“Hey, let's have five. Let's have six. Let's have a dozen and pretend they're donuts!”