“- Tallahassee: Wow, these fellas really let themselves go.
- Columbus: And they're so fat.”

Woody Harrelson - Tallahassee
Jesse Eisenberg - Columbus

“I've done life; now I'm doing death.”

Danny Gochnauer - Dr. Colin Ramzi

“We are all corpses here! This rendezvous is one of the musical graveyards of the town. Caters to zombies hopping around with dead hearts and price tags for souls.”

Thomas Mitchell - Gene Gibbons

“Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?”
Nick Frost - Ed

“Stop killing the dead. They're mine. If you don't want the dead coming back to life, why don't you just kill the living? Shoot them in the head. Are you listening to me?”