Dan Aykroyd quotes
“- 'Joliet' Jake Blues: They're not the kinda guys who write letters. You were outside, I was inside. You were supposed to keep in touch with the band. I kept asking you if we were gonna play again.
- Elwood Blues: Well, what was I gonna do? Take away your only hope? Take away the very thing that kept you going in there? I took the liberty of...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Good evening. How's it going? Listen, girls... uh... as your father, I feel it incumbent upon me to set the record straight on the validity of the tale which Uncle Chet shared with us this evening. I know that a terrifying story like that coming from the mouth of a recognized authority figure could be traumatizing for kids like yourselves; I...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Streebek: You know, Friday, we're allowed to go 55... On some occasions, even faster.
- Friday: I'm well aware of the federally mandated speed limit, Streebeck. But, did it ever occur to you that, by going eight miles an hour slower, we might save some gasoline and ease the burden on the poor taxpayers out there who pay our salaries?
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
“What the American public doesn't know is exactly what makes them the American public.”
“Y'know, you are worse than a week of yellow shitstorms.”
“- Elwood Blues: It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?
[a brief thinking pause while Jake attempts to light a cigarette]
- 'Joliet' Jake Blues: Fix the...” (continue)(continue reading)
“Jane, you ignorant slut.”
“- Beldar Conehead: An owner's manual to a Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable.
- Highmaster: Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable?
- Beldar Conehead: A personal conveyance named after its inventor, an assassinated ruler, a character from Greco-Roman myth and a small fur-covered mammal.”
“- Suzy: I toasted it just the way you like.
- Jimmy Flaherty: How'd you do that? There's no toaster around here.
- Suzy: I used my curling iron.”
“Was your head shaped like an egg before she hit you?”
“This LTX-71 concealable mike is part of the same system that NASA used when they faked the Apollo Moon landings. They had the astronauts broadcast around the world from a sound stage at Norton Air Force Base in San Bernadino, California. So it worked for them, shouldn't give us too many problems.”
“- Enid Keese: Vic, what did you say is in a pile driver?
- Vic: Italian Galliano for passion, Irish Mist for love and Russian vodka for endurance.”
“Wait a minute. No way! Wait a hot shittin minute. Rule 1: no relative of mine is going to eat hot dogs as long as he is sharing my cabin.”
- Friday: Can you tell me how much a monthly run of your "magazine" is worth?
- Jerry Caesar: Let's just thay it's more money than you'll ever thee in your life. And I do that every month.
- Friday: At least my money is clean.
- Jerry Caesar: Tell you what you can do, Friday, before you go home and start polithing your pennieth.
“- Queen Mousette: Do something Caribbean.
- Elwood Blues: Uh, ma'am, we're the Blues Brothers. We do blues, rhythm & blues, jazz, funk, soul. We can handle rock, pop, country, heavy metal, fusion, hip hop, rap, Motown, operetta, showtunes. In fact, we've even been called upon, on occasion, to do a polka! However Caribbean is a type of music, I...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Steven Mills: I've never felt anything like that before.
- Celeste Martin: Do I now have to eat the chocolate from Pennsylvania?
- Steven Mills: What?”
“- Steven Mills: Would you mind if I kissed you?
- Celeste Martin: Does it hurt?
- Steven Mills: Not the way I do it.”
“I'm gonna dig so many new holes in you, you're gonna look like a salt shaker!”
“There are two things that clearly differentiate the human species from animals. One, we use cutlery. Two, we're capable of controlling our sexual urges. Now, you might be an exception, but don't drag me down into your private Hell.”