Dan Aykroyd movie quotes

“- 'Joliet' Jake Blues: They're not the kinda guys who write letters. You were outside, I was inside. You were supposed to keep in touch with the band. I kept asking you if we were gonna play again.
- Elwood Blues: Well, what was I gonna do? Take away your only hope? Take away the very thing that kept you going in there? I took the liberty of...” (continue)(continue reading)

John Belushi - Joliet' Jake Blues
Dan Aykroyd - Elwood Blues

“Good evening. How's it going? Listen, girls... uh... as your father, I feel it incumbent upon me to set the record straight on the validity of the tale which Uncle Chet shared with us this evening. I know that a terrifying story like that coming from the mouth of a recognized authority figure could be traumatizing for kids like yourselves; I...” (continue)(continue reading)
Dan Aykroyd - Roman Craig

“- Streebek: You know, Friday, we're allowed to go 55... On some occasions, even faster.
- Friday: I'm well aware of the federally mandated speed limit, Streebeck. But, did it ever occur to you that, by going eight miles an hour slower, we might save some gasoline and ease the burden on the poor taxpayers out there who pay our salaries?
-...” (continue)(continue reading)
Tom Hanks - Streebek
Dan Aykroyd - Friday

“What the American public doesn't know is exactly what makes them the American public.”
Dan Aykroyd

“Walk away now and you walk away from your crafts, your skills, your vocations; leaving the next generation with nothing but recycled, digitally-sampled techno-grooves, quasi-synth rhythms, pseudo-songs of violence-laden gangsta-rap, acid pop, and simpering, saccharine, soulless slush.”

Dan Aykroyd - Elwood Blues

“Y'know, you are worse than a week of yellow shitstorms.”

Dan Aykroyd - Judge Alvin 'J.P' Valkenheiser

“- Elwood Blues: It's got a cop motor, a 440 cubic inch plant, it's got cop tires, cop suspensions, cop shocks. It's a model made before catalytic converters so it'll run good on regular gas. What do you say, is it the new Bluesmobile or what?
[a brief thinking pause while Jake attempts to light a cigarette]
- 'Joliet' Jake Blues: Fix the...” (continue)(continue reading)
Dan Aykroyd - Elwood Blues
John Belushi - Joliet' Jake Blues

“Think big, think positive, never show any sign of weakness. Always go for the throat. Buy low, sell high. Fear? That's the other guy's problem. Nothing you have ever experienced will prepare you for the absolute carnage you are about to witness.”

Dan Aykroyd - Louis Winthorpe III

“Jane, you ignorant slut.”

Dan Aykroyd

“Why do Chet's kids look at him like he's Zeus and my kids look at me like I'm a rack of lawn tools at Sears?”
Dan Aykroyd - Roman Craig

“- Beldar Conehead: An owner's manual to a Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable.
- Highmaster: Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable?
- Beldar Conehead: A personal conveyance named after its inventor, an assassinated ruler, a character from Greco-Roman myth and a small fur-covered mammal.”
Dan Aykroyd - Beldar Conehead
Dave Thomas - Highmaster

“- Suzy: I toasted it just the way you like.
- Jimmy Flaherty: How'd you do that? There's no toaster around here.
- Suzy: I used my curling iron.”

Connie Perry - Suzy
Dan Aykroyd - Jimmy Flaherty

“- Mike O'Hara: I heard Manute Bol is banging your mom!
- Jimmy Flaherty: Manute Bol! Your mom!
- Lewis Scott: That's whitey.”
Daniel Stern - Mike O'Hara
Dan Aykroyd - Jimmy Flaherty
Damon Wayans - Lewis Scott

“Was your head shaped like an egg before she hit you?”
Dan Aykroyd - Dr. Keats

“This LTX-71 concealable mike is part of the same system that NASA used when they faked the Apollo Moon landings. They had the astronauts broadcast around the world from a sound stage at Norton Air Force Base in San Bernadino, California. So it worked for them, shouldn't give us too many problems.”
Dan Aykroyd - Mother

“- Enid Keese: Vic, what did you say is in a pile driver?
- Vic: Italian Galliano for passion, Irish Mist for love and Russian vodka for endurance.”

Kathryn Walker - Enid Keese
Dan Aykroyd - Vic

“Wait a minute. No way! Wait a hot shittin minute. Rule 1: no relative of mine is going to eat hot dogs as long as he is sharing my cabin.”
Dan Aykroyd - Roman Craig

- Friday: Can you tell me how much a monthly run of your "magazine" is worth?
- Jerry Caesar: Let's just thay it's more money than you'll ever thee in your life. And I do that every month.
- Friday: At least my money is clean.
- Jerry Caesar: Tell you what you can do, Friday, before you go home and start polithing your pennieth.
Dan Aykroyd - Friday
Dabney Coleman - Jerry Caesar

“- Queen Mousette: Do something Caribbean.
- Elwood Blues: Uh, ma'am, we're the Blues Brothers. We do blues, rhythm & blues, jazz, funk, soul. We can handle rock, pop, country, heavy metal, fusion, hip hop, rap, Motown, operetta, showtunes. In fact, we've even been called upon, on occasion, to do a polka! However Caribbean is a type of music, I...” (continue)(continue reading)
Erykah Badu - Queen Mousette
Dan Aykroyd - Elwood Blues

“No matter whom we choose to love, be they heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, trisexual, quadrisexual, pansexual, transexual, omnisexual or that thing where the chick ties the belt around your neck and tinkles on a ballon, it has absolutely nothing to do with who we are as people.”

Dan Aykroyd - Captain Phineas J. Tucker

“- Steven Mills: I've never felt anything like that before.
- Celeste Martin: Do I now have to eat the chocolate from Pennsylvania?
- Steven Mills: What?”

Dan Aykroyd - Steven Mills
Kim Basinger - Celeste Martin

“- Steven Mills: Would you mind if I kissed you?
- Celeste Martin: Does it hurt?
- Steven Mills: Not the way I do it.”

Dan Aykroyd - Steven Mills
Kim Basinger - Celeste Martin

“- Sgt. FrankTree: You think the Japanese believe in Santy Claus?
- Crowd: No!
- Sgt. FrankTree: Well, instead of turkey for your Christmas dinner, how would you like to have raw fish heads and rice?
- Crowd: No!”

Dan Aykroyd - Sgt. Frank Tree

“I'm gonna dig so many new holes in you, you're gonna look like a salt shaker!”

Dan Aykroyd - Judge Alvin 'J.P' Valkenheiser

“There are two things that clearly differentiate the human species from animals. One, we use cutlery. Two, we're capable of controlling our sexual urges. Now, you might be an exception, but don't drag me down into your private Hell.”

Dan Aykroyd - Friday