“Starting tomorrow there will be hourly tours of Roxy Carmichael's birthplace. You'll see where Roxy slept and where she ate during her wonder years. You'll also see pictures of her beloved dog, Bonkers.”
Micole Mercurio - Louise Garweski

“History teaches us that men behave wisely once they've exhausted all other alternatives. For most rock bands, the pursuit of wisdom's a low priority compared to fame, fortune and fornication.”
Billy Connolly - Hughie

“- Dickie Roberts: You want my autograph too? Dickie Roberts.
- Girl: No, I'm fine.
- Dickie Roberts: How about if I put it on a $5 bill?
- Girl: Make it a 20?”

David Spade - Dickie Roberts
Nancy Pimental - Girl

“- Philip Henslowe: I need actors! Those of you who are unknown will have a chance to be known!
- Tavern Patron: What about the money, Mr. Henslowe?
- Philip Henslowe: It won't cost you a penny! Ha ha ha ha!”
Geoffrey Rush - Philip Henslowe

“It's money and adventure and fame. It's the thrill of a lifetime and a long sea voyage that starts at six o'clock tomorrow morning.”
Robert Armstrong - Carl Denham