Billy Connolly quotes
“If I had a hammer, there'd be no more folksingers.”
“- Mr. Sparks, the Tennis Pro: Perhaps we should wrestle sometime. Do you like the taut roundness that exercise brings to the buttocks?
- Maurice: Yeah.
- Mr. Sparks, the Tennis Pro: Do you enjoy the warmth of the Mediterranean sun on that self-same place? I once wrestled a man on the steps of the Acropolis, when the sun was at its height,...” (continue)(continue reading)
“- Governor Ratcliffe: It's time to start digging.
- Ben: Digging?
- Governor Ratcliffe: Why, of course. Let's not forget what the Spanish found when they came to the New World. Gold! Mountains of it. Why, for years they've been ravaging the New World of its most precious resources. But now it's our turn.”
“- Wilf Bond: I read somewhere that the average man thinks of sex every seven seconds.
- Reggie Paget: Do you?
- Wilf Bond: I wish, it was only every seven seconds.”
“Marriage is a wonderful invention; but, then again, so is a
bicycle repair kit.”
“- Connor: How far are we gonna take this, Da?
- Il Duce: The question is not how far. The question is, do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far is as needed?”
“- Lon: This place gives me the creeps. Savages could be hiding anywhere.
- Ben: Aye, well if you spot one, don't ask questions, just shoot.”
“I've always wanted to sound like Billy Connolly.”
“- Professor Johnston: Died 1382.
- Kate Ericson: Born 1971.”
“- Hughie: Would you like a hit?
- Karen Knowles: I haven't done that in years.
- Hughie: Now would be a very good time to start.”
“- Mr. Sparks, the Tennis Pro: Are either of you Greek?
- Arthur: No.
- Maurice: Well, yes, actually I'm half-Greek.
- Mr. Sparks, the Tennis Pro: Top half or bottom half?”
“Whosoever shed man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed. For in the image of God made He man.”
“I don't care, I don't give a damn! British justice is a farce and a sham!”